I Can’t Meet A Decent Guy To Save My Life — Just Crappy Guys Everywhere — WTF??

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m pretty bitter when it comes to my dating life. I’m normally an optimist, but years of going out with too many douchebags have left me weary and, yes, a bit frustrated. I have my fingers crossed that I’ll be able to be a bit more cheery about finding love in the future, but for now, this is why the dating scene has brought out my most negative side:

  1. I’m constantly taken advantage of. I have a naturally generous and trusting nature, and unfortunately, that seems to attract the wrong type of guys. Rather than appreciating my kinder, softer side, pretty much every dude I date just uses it to their advantage, manipulating and betraying me until I regret being a decent human being.
  2. Honesty seems to be a thing of the past. I don’t ask for much, but even something as basic as telling the truth appears to be too much for a lot of guys to handle. They tell me they want a relationship when they really just want a hookup, that I’m the only girl they’re seeing when I’m really just a side chick, and that I have nothing to worry about when I really do. I can handle the truth, really, but no one seems willing to give it to me.
  3. They never reveal their bad side right away. Even when I meet someone who seems like a good fit for me, I still have to keep my guard up. After all, jerks rarely show that they’re jerks right off the bat; they play the “good guy” role until they know you’ve gotten attached and are less likely to kick them out of your life. I (and most other women) don’t try to find these jerks — I just fall for knights in shining armor who turn out to be villains in disguise.
  4. I’m always just a rest stop on the way to someone “better.” We all deserve to be our partner’s number-one choice, but the guys I find have a tendency to treat me like a backup plan. It’s like they’re so scared of being alone (or not getting laid) that they have no qualms about acting like they’re crazy about me and then dumping me for the woman who was REALLY their first choice all along. I hate feeling like a consolation prize in the dating game.
  5. Phony “care” is just a tool used to get sex. Is it really so hard to say “I just want sex” if you just want sex? I’m out here looking for something deep and meaningful, and I’ve met way too many douchebags who’ve led me to believe that I’ll find it with them when they were really just stringing me along the whole time. I refuse to sleep with guys I don’t have feelings for, and it’s like these jerks can sense that just by being around me. So of course, they work to get me to catch feelings for them, then peace out after they got what they wanted in bed. Scumbags.
  6. There are way too many sexists, racists, and plain psychos out there. I don’t need Prince Charming — I just want a normal, halfway-decent man. I had no idea that there were so many guys out there who still think racial slurs and sexist comments are still acceptable in 2017. I know truly good men are out there, but all I ever seem to find are the ones who seem to have time-traveled from the 1950s. Do I put out the vibe that I WANT these jerks, or what?
  7. It’s always “my fault” when a guy screws me over. I’m “too clingy” or “too distant” or “too opinionated” or “too passive.” Jerks will find any excuse they can to take the blame off themselves, because that would mean they’d have to live with the guilt of their sub-par behavior. I try to date men, but all I can find are overgrown little boys who point fingers instead of admitting that they were wrong. It’s so ridiculously frustrating.
  8. I’m tired of being used to make other girls jealous. Sometimes it’s an ex, sometimes it’s a stranger across the bar, but there always seems to be another woman in the picture when a guy makes a move on me. They lead me on and make me think that they’re really interested in me, but the reality is they just want a specific someone to see them with another girl. It’s a terrible thing to do, not only to me, but also to the women they’re trying to make jealous.
  9. Even proper breakups seem like too much effort nowadays. The least a dude could do after treating me like crap is give me the kindness of a real breakup, but that’s hard work. Instead, I end up getting ghosted, breadcrumbed, or blocked out of nowhere. It’s borderline fascinating how some guys can make such a crappy situation even worse, but it doesn’t even surprise me anymore.
  10. Guys like the idea of me more than the real me. I can acknowledge that I’m a catch while admitting that I have a lot of flaws. A lot of men seem to like me based on my “on paper” qualities, like my appearance or job or hobbies, but as soon as they find out that I’m not completely perfect, they run for the hills. It’s made me scared to be myself around anyone for fear that my personality really is repulsive.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu blue belt. She's currently hanging out in Costa Rica with her cat and a lot of really big bugs.