I Can’t Remember The Last Time I Went On An Actual Date — At This Point, I’m Over It

I’ve been single for a few years, but it’s not because I don’t want a relationship. It’s because no matter how much I “put myself out there” or how many dating apps I download, it seems like nobody wants to go on actual dates anymore. It’s the most confusing and maddening thing ever. At this point, the “dating” scene is basically non-existent and I’m really over it.

  1. Dating app matches ghost before you ever meet up. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been talking to a guy on a dating app and things are going really well, but then he ghosts me before we ever meet in person. I’m all excited about hanging out and doing something fun, but as soon as I mention this, poof! He’s gone. It’s happened so many times and with so many different men that I know it’s a them problem, not a me problem.
  2. A lot of guys want to head right for the bedroom. Sex is great and I’m definitely not a prude, but I do like to work up to that. How? By going on dates and getting to know each other on a deeper level to see if there’s even any sexual chemistry there. Sadly, it seems like I’m alone in this. Guys aren’t interested in dating when there are women willing to hook up. That’s not me.
  3. It seems like guys just want someone to chat to online. The ones that don’t go AWOL when I attempt to make plans to meet up just put me off indefinitely. They’re always “super busy” or “have a lot going on.” However, they don’t have too much on to stop messaging me constantly. It seems a lot of men I talk to just want companionship online rather than the real deal.


  1. Traditional dates are old-fashioned to many people. What ever happened to going out to dinner and catching a movie? What about going to a concert and grabbing drinks at a bar? These are all very normal things, but it seems like I’m the only one who’s into them. People literally look at me like I have two heads when I mention it. It’s depressing.
  2. How else are we going to get to know each other? I actually want to develop a connection with my future boyfriend (or even my potential future boyfriend). I want to know what makes him tick and learn about what makes him who he is. However, I can’t really do that if we never hang out in person. What am I supposed to do?
  3. Single people want relationships but don’t want to do anything about it. For the guys that do claim they want a girlfriend, they have a funny way of showing it. You actually have to put in effort and actively date someone if you want to find a relationship. Without that, it’s absolutely pointless.
  4. I feel like dating is over and I don’t know what to do about it. It’s true. I’ve dealt with so much disappointment and faced so much rejection that I’m ready to throw in the towel. The dating scene isn’t what it used to be and I have the feeling that things are only going to get worse. I can’t keep putting in effort and get nothing in between.
  5. At this point, I’m sure I’m destined to be single. And frankly, at this point, I’m not even sure I care anymore. Someone let me know when dating starts being a thing again and I might wade back in.

Here’s the thing

Dating is supposed to be fun. Even if it doesn’t result in a long-term relationship, it’s at least an enjoyable night out with someone new. If it’s a disaster, hey, at least you get a good story out of it. There’s value in the experience, is my point. The fact that no one wants to do this anymore is both baffling and disappointing. What is going on in the world?!

Vicky is a Toronto native who works as a professional photographer by day and a writer by night. She has a bachelor's degree from the University of Waterloo and will soon begin a master's degree in psychology.