For most people, being friends with an ex is an absolute nightmare that should never, ever become a reality. I’m no exception — why would I want to stay friends with someone who treated me badly? I’ll admit that I still care about you and I genuinely wish you the best in life, but I certainly don’t want you in MY life. That’s my decision and you only have yourself to blame for it.
- I don’t think I could ever trust you again. Let me bottom-line it for you: a friendship without trust isn’t worth having. How can I believe you when you’ve lied to me repeatedly? Every word that comes out of your mouth is probably a lie, and to be honest, I don’t want to hear anything you have to say anyway.
- You messed up and there’s no way to fix that. Be honest with yourself and own up to the fact that you ruined what had so much potential. I was always honest with you, but it was one-sided. You know that you could have done so much more but you simply lost interest in us, and instead of owning up to the truth, you want to ease your conscience by asking to be friends. No thanks, I’ll pass on that offer.
- Everything you do annoys the hell out of me. It’s not that I’m bitter about you moving on because believe me, I’ve already moved on too. Still, I really don’t want to see updates of what’s going on in your life on social media. As a friend, I’m expected to be happy for you and supportive, but I can’t bring myself to feel any warmth towards you. So tell me, how is that friendship going to work out? Hint: it’s not.
- You could be a negative influence. I’m not sure if I want someone who treated me badly still in my life. Sure, maybe you deserve another chance, but why should I give you that? It might make you feel less guilty about how you ended things, but it’s certainly not going to benefit my life in any way. To be blunt, I don’t owe you anything and it’s wrong for you to assume that I do.
- It all feels so fake. How do I know that you genuinely want to be friends and it’s not an act to make you feel better about yourself? Anyone can say “let’s be friends,” but it doesn’t mean that you give a damn about me. For all I know, you’re just trying to appear to be the better person — and we both know that’s not true.
- Friends are supposed to pick you up, not put you down. The latter is exactly what you did. You built my hopes up and made me truly believe that I found someone who cared about me as much as I cared about them… and then you decided that you didn’t want that anymore. There was no warning or any kind of signs — you just left. That’s not how you treat someone who you apparently love. You screwed me over and I deserved so much better than that.
- You can’t get everything you want. Sorry to break it to you, but you can’t drop me and then suddenly decide that you still want me around. It doesn’t work like that. There are consequences when you give someone up, and it’s time for you to grow up and deal with it. It’s your loss.
- It will stop me from moving forwards. Although I’m over you, there’s a chance that the feelings I buried for you could resurface, and if that happens then I’m screwed. I don’t want to have feelings for you when I know there’s absolutely no chance of anything happening. And even if you did feel the same way, why would I try again with someone who couldn’t get it right the first time? You’re asking for too much and I’m not willing to take that risk.
- There’s a slim chance of it working out. How am I supposed to act around you after everything that’s happened? It’s never going to be the same and there’s no point pretending that it ever could be. Let’s be honest, it will be awkward AF and we’ll be scrambling for words to say just to fill the silence. I can’t maintain a friendship with someone who I can’t feel comfortable with.
- I can’t forget the past. It’s inevitable that touchy subjects will come up and I’ll have to go through the emotions all over again. Neither of us can forget the things that were said and the way it ended so abruptly. It will resurface, and when it does I’m not sure I can face it. Let’s just leave things the way they are instead of making it needlessly complicated!
- My life is probably better without you in it. At the moment, I’m happy with how my life is going. I have a job that I really enjoy and amazing friends who I know I can always rely on. So tell me, what’s so special about you? Your friendship will never make me feel secured or loved or appreciated, and for that reason, I really don’t want it.
- It’s not your decision to make and it never will be. You can’t try and force something that just isn’t meant to be. It might not necessarily be what YOU want, but it’s what I want. You made your decision and now I’m making mine, and trust me, it’s the best thing for both of us.
