If You Can’t Text Back In A Timely Manner, I’m Not Your Girl

Texting is a massive part of dating these days and how you text says a lot about you. That’s why everyone freaks out about double texting and seeming too desperate. I think texting is a pretty big deal, though, and if you can’t respond to mine in a timely manner, I’m not the girl for you.

  1. You can’t pretend that you’re not obsessed with your iPhone. It’s 2017. Literally everyone has an iPhone (okay, or a smartphone of any kind, but usually an iPhone). You always know where it is (aka in your pocket or right next to you at all times) and you’re always on it. Yes, even when you should be working. If you want to act like you’re too cool to check your phone all the time and so I can’t expect you to text back fast, that excuse doesn’t work for me.
  2. You always have time to text back. I’m going to say something that might blow your mind: a text message takes about two seconds to write. Yes, really. Who knew?! All joking aside, I think it’s really weird if you think you’re way too busy to respond for hours on end. You’re just not. I get that sometimes you’re out, at a meeting or with a friend or something and that’s fine, but it shouldn’t take you days on end to write me back.
  3. Not texting back makes you look like an egomaniac. If you think that you’re too important to respond, then guess what? I think I’m too important to date you. Refusing to answer (or answering hours later) makes you look like you have a massive ego. And that’s not super attractive.
  4. It feels like I’m about to get ghosted. The truth is that today, people can be ghosted at any time in the dating process. It doesn’t matter if you and I have gone out several times. No one’s safe. While that may sound like the premise of a bad horror movie, it’s actually real life. If I think that you’re going to ghost me because you haven’t responded — and then you do end up answering but a crazy long time later — that’s just not cool.
  5. You shouldn’t be weighing your options. If you’re not texting me back because you’re going out with someone else or aren’t sure if you’re really into me, then it’s time for you to be a man and get out. You don’t have to date me. I can definitely find someone who actually wants to be with me.
  6. Texting is a major form of communication. People are always saying that communication is the most important thing in a relationship. Texting is a natural way to talk to the person that I’m dating when we’re not together or when we’re making plans. If our texting styles don’t mesh well then we’re not going to be a thing.
  7. You’re not above technology. You’re not cool because you don’t text back in a timely manner. You’re actually behaving like a total loser. You use your phone as much as the next person so don’t pretend that you don’t. It doesn’t mean that you have no life, it just means that you realize that texting is pretty convenient.
  8. If we’re dating, you should want to text me back. Simple as that. There’s a certain amount of obligation between two people who have just started seeing each other and that includes answering when the other person texts. Otherwise, there’s zero reason to even be together in the first place.
  9. There are no legit excuses. Sure, you might be trapped in an elevator somewhere without any cell service… but chances are, you’re totally fine and you just don’t feel like responding. There are really no legit excuses as to why you wouldn’t be able to type a few words and press send.
  10. The guys I’ve dated have always texted me first. I totally believe that if a guy likes me, he’s going to make sure that I know it… and he’s going to text me first. This has happened every single time that I’ve been in a relationship (or even an almost one). This means that I never stress about whether a guy is into me because I figure he’ll prove it. It also means that I will never date anyone who can’t text, and I’m not sorry about it.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.