My Career Comes Before My Love Life, And I Don’t Plan On Changing That

I’ve always had a strong work ethic, and when it comes to my career, I’m 100 percent committed to building an amazing one. I can’t say the same for my romantic relationships but I’m totally fine with that (at least for now). Here’s why:

  1. I’m proud of what I do. I love being a writer. I get way more pride out of telling someone I’m a writer than telling someone I have a boyfriend or husband. It just feels like more of an accomplishment. Being in a relationship isn’t really an accomplishment unless you’ve been together for 20+ years, and even then most people don’t know what they’re doing. A lot of it is luck when it comes to love, but when it comes to career, I feel like I’ve actually earned the right to be proud of myself.
  2. I have control over it. I can’t really control how long my partner will stay with me because they’re a separate entity with separate thoughts and feelings. If they want to leave, they’re gonna leave, and there’s nothing I can do about it. With career, I have way more control over it because it’s just me and that feels good.
  3. I want to make an impact on the world. I don’t want to spend my life tending to my husband. Although it’s a lot more common for women to have both a family and a high-powered career, it’s not ideal and it’s seriously not easy. I’m kinda scared that if I get married and start a family, I won’t have time to grow my career. The world can’t see me shine if I’m a stay-at-home mom. I want to touch as many people on this planet as possible with my work. It’s all or nothing.
  4. It’s what makes me special. Being in a relationship isn’t special. Sure, it’s really interesting to talk about with your girlfriends, but I’m not really “contributing to society” by getting married. If I want to make a mark on the world at large, I’d better keep my head in the game and not get distracted by silly things like marriage.
  5. It’s the most stable part of my life. My relationships have been anything but stable and I’m not about to bank my happiness on a guy. My career isn’t going anywhere, so as long as I have that drive to keep creating, I’ll always be happy. Lovers come and go and I’d be crazy to place my self-worth on whether someone loves me or not.
  6. It’s worth investing my time and energy into. When I look back on my last relationship, I can’t believe how much time, money and energy I put into it only to have it come crashing down months later. I like buying my partner gifts and spending a lot of time with them — and that’s why it’s so painful when it ends. I’ve learned that investing into my career is the only worthwhile thing to do because the only way to go is up.
  7. I can’t go down in history by being a “good wife.” I won’t win a Nobel prize for packing my husband’s lunch. Maybe I’m crazy for thinking this way, but it’s not enough for just one person to love me — I need the whole world to love me. Yeah, I’m a bit of a fame monster, but who wouldn’t want to be recognized on a global scale for your work?
  8. I want to know I’ll be able to support myself if stuff hits the fan. I can’t just “marry rich” and expect everything to always be okay. Marriage is messy and I want to be 100 percent sure that my ass is covered if things ever get bad. I’m not a gold digger and I actually take pride in being able to support myself financially. It’s important for me to have that kind of stability, otherwise, I’ll always be low-key panicking about it.
  9. I’m smart as hell, and I don’t want that to go to waste. I have so much to offer to the world, so why not go all out? I’d much rather spend my time figuring out ways to make this world a better place than to chase a relationship in hopes of one day being happy. I can be happy right now by doing the thing I love most — writing. How great is that!
  10. My career is my identity, not my relationship. I am not who I date. I am, however, what I do. If I want to be the writer I know I can be, I’d better start putting in my hours. Some girls feel useless when they’re not in a relationship, but not me. It’s when I have nothing going on in my life career-wise that makes me feel like a nobody. This is why I will be forever married to my career. It’s what makes me want to get up in the morning.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.