Be Careful — That Dirty Text Might Not Be As Private As You Think

Sexting is a hot way to spice things up when you can’t actually be together. You get hot and bothered and when you finally do get together, it’s explosive, to say the least. But before you send that dirty message or picture, keep these important considerations in mind:

  1. All your “private” words are saved. All those suggestive or explicit words that are supposed to be private are saved in whatever messaging app you use. You might delete everything on your end, but are you sure the other person is deleting them, too? Unless you grab his phone and erase the messages, those sexy conversations could last forever.
  2. Do you really think he deletes the nudes? As much as we’d like to hope they do, many men don’t erase the naked pictures they receive. If your sexting session includes images, make them suggestive instead of showing off your birthday suit if you don’t want them on his phone forever. He’s not about to delete an image of a perfectly good set of boobs or your open legs.
  3. Anyone could hack your phones. Let’s say for just a minute that both of you are decent people who actually will keep your sexting private. Good for you. I hate to tell you, but you’re not surrounded by good people all the time. All those leaked celebrity nudes are proof that hackers love to get into random phones to get personal information, including all your dirty secrets.
  4. Sometimes it’s too tempting to show off. Yes ladies, we’re guilty of it too. You’re proud of that penis pic, so you show it off. Guys do the same thing. Even if you’re just sexting with words, do you really want his friends reading all about what you want to do to him? Unless you’re planning on sleeping with his friends later, probably not.
  5. You don’t know who’s around. Have you ever been out with friends and suddenly you’re getting a random penis pic? Sure, it’s his blatant way of saying he wants to sext, but it’s still awkward as hell to open up something like that with random people around. Similarly, you can’t be sure that he won’t be in the middle of showing one of his buddies a funny video the moment he gets your incoming text detailing all the dirty things you want to do to him.
  6. You’re going to text the wrong person at least once. Most of the time, sending a text to “Jenny” instead of “John” isn’t a big deal. Text your mom about how wet you are just thinking about wrapping your mouth around his privates, and it suddenly becomes a big deal. You’re not living that one down for a long time.
  7. If you’re cheating, you’re leaving a massive digital trail. For some odd reason, many people still don’t think sexting is cheating, but unless you’re in an open relationship, it definitely is. You think you’re getting away with it since your partner will likely never see your phone. But if he suspects anything, all he has to do is check your phone and see exactly what you’ve been doing and with whom.
  8. What if someone else picks up the phone? Unless your phone is glued to your hip, you’re eventually going to set it down or leave it in your purse while you do other things. What happens if a friend picks it up to see who’s texting you while you’ve gone to the bathroom? It might be something you laugh about, but it might not be something your partner takes so lightly.
  9. If you break up, it could all end up online. You’re so in love and nothing could ever break the two of you up, right? Reality check: Breakups happen. If you’re unlucky enough to date the wrong guy, all those dirty pictures and conversations you shared might end up online for the world to see. Revenge sex online is illegal in many states, but you might have no way of knowing if those dirty pictures of you ended up on the web until thousands of people had already seen them.
  10. It’s not hard to take some precautions. You don’t have to give up sexting, but maybe try to be a little more careful. Start with a code word or emoji just to make sure you’re both free to sext. Avoid the nudes, and make each other wait to see the real thing. After all, actually having sex is better than sexting.
Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.