I’m Not Looking For A Relationship — Casual Is All I Can Handle Right Now

As a recently single woman, all I want right now is something casual — hooking up with no commitment. I don’t have time for a boyfriend, nor do I want one. After putting all of my heart and soul into my last relationship, it’s time to put myself first. Here’s why casual sex is all I can handle at the moment.

  1. I’m a busy lady. Looking at my calendar right now, there is NO WAY I have time for brunch dates with my imaginary boyfriend. Between my workload and social engagements, I’m totally booked. Casual sex is perfect because it usually happens in the middle of the night when I have plenty of free time.
  2. I want connection without the drama. Even though I’m single right now, I still appreciate a good ol’ intimate connection between two people. Casual sex can give me that connection I crave without the drama that comes with being attached. I’m not looking for love; just feeling appreciated by another human is more than enough.
  3. I’m not ready to settle down. I’m in my mid-twenties and in no rush to commit. I have my whole life to have sex with the same person over and over again. If I don’t allow myself to explore my sexuality now, I’m going to regret it later. Give me this pocket of time to have some fun and get a little bit wild, if you know what I mean.
  4. I love the naughty factor. There’s something about casual sex that is so wrong, yet at the same time, so right. There’s an element of anonymity to it, so even if you kinda, sorta know each other, you’re not comfortable with each other yet, and that can make the sex feel dangerous and even forbidden. When my hookup buddy comes over late at night and we barely even say a word to each other and already we’re ripping our clothes off, it’s just so hot.
  5. I can still have my own life. I can have all the sex I want without compromising my schedule and still do whatever I feel like doing while not feeling guilty about making sure my partner feels appreciated. If I feel like lazing around and doing nothing, I can. If I feel like getting a ton of stuff done, I can do that too. Doting on my partner is nice, but it can really cut into my “me” time.
  6. I want to take a break from my relationships. I feel like every guy I get involved with has to turn our relationship into some serious thing. Sometimes it’s nice to just keep it casual and see where it goes. I tend to find myself trapped with someone I don’t even like, and it wasn’t even my idea in the first place! I want to take a break from all that. Committed relationships are rewarding for sure, but so is having casual sex.
  7. I want to save money.  One huge benefit that I’ve been experiencing while exclusively having casual sex is that I’m saving a ton of money. Formally dating someone for weeks before we get busy can get expensive. I’m the type of girl who always offers to pay, so I end up footing half the bill, and that’s just not in my budget right now. Casual sex is free and who doesn’t like free? All you need is each other!
  8. My sex life is always more exciting when it’s casual. I seem to collect the strangest sex stories when I’m hooking up at random. I’ve been asked to do some pretty weird things, and it’s always with a random encounter. I think the “casual” factor adds an element of anonymity making it easier to reveal our kinky sides. Seriously, casual sex is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you’re gonna get.
  9. It’s easy for me to separate love from sex. I’m the type of person who thrives on casual sex. Some people need a stable partnership, whereas I get equal satisfaction from having casual sex as I do from long-term, committed sex. There isn’t one kind of sex that’s better than the other — they both have their advantages, and right now I’m feeling casual.
  10. I just got out of a long-term relationship. The last thing I want right now is for someone else to be depending on me. I tend to lose myself in relationships and give my whole self to my partner, which ends up draining me. It’s time to take care of ME and no one else.
  11. I just wanna have fun. That’s all any girl really wants, right? (Well…according to the song at least.) The best part about casual sex is that it’s pure, unadulterated fun. There’s no stress, no mess (well maybe a little), and I don’t have to worry about what it all means. I can just let loose and not worry about tomorrow, which is honestly just what I need right now.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.