Why Catching Feelings When You’re Single AF Is So Terrifying

Why Catching Feelings When You’re Single AF Is So Terrifying ©iStock/ByeByeTokyo

If you’ve been single for a long time, nothing can truly prepare you for meeting a great guy who catches you off guard with how great he is. As much as you’ve been hoping to find love, coming across an actual worthy prospect is more than a little scary. When you truly start developing genuine feelings for him, the thoughts of leaving your single AF comfort zone freaks you the hell out.

  1. You have to readjust your boss routine. When you’re so used to being on your own and doing your own thing whenever you want, like wearing the same pajamas for an entire weekend while listening to Lemonade on repeat, rearranging your life to accommodate someone new can be seriously overwhelming. It’s not to say that you’ll need to give up your life, but you will need to shuffle some things around if you want to take things further.
  2. You feel the need to pull back to regain clarity. When you’re truly single AF, you’ll reach a point in your new-found lust where you really start to freak out. You’ll ask yourself things like, “Is this really happening?” “Does he even exist?” “Am I hallucinating?” “How much wine have I had?” But through all your questioning, you’ll realize he could actually be the real deal — so take a deep breath and get your act together, Carol!
  3. Letting someone into your heart is a gamble. He could be the jackpot, or he could be a total loss — you’ll never know unless you try. Marching forward and embracing your feelings isn’t easy when you know you’ve been happy on your own and that you could potentially get hurt. But here’s the thing: you were happy before him and you’ll be happy after him too whether it works out or not because you’ve been bossing it this whole time without him.
  4. Genuine reciprocation of feelings of a foreign concept. Being single AF means you’ve braved our messed up modern dating culture and you’ve refused to settle for less than you deserve. You’ve been screwed over and you’ve learned a lot on your own personal journey, which in turn makes you extra cautious about where you invest your heart now. When a guy you like shows the same interest back and is interested in something real, you really don’t want to mess it up.
  5. Butterflies feel like a panic attack. It really is unsettling when genuine feelings creep up on you. You’re so far from from the feeling of butterflies that you automatically assume it’s a panic attack or that something’s not quite right. The truth is that it’s hard to distinguish between genuine adoration or just your subconscious paying you a warning – you’ll just have to trust your gut as best as you can.
  6. There’s always the fear of falling and failing. Falling for a guy and allowing yourself to be vulnerable to the possibility of getting hurt genuinely freaks you out. If it doesn’t work out, and you’re left to pick up the pieces of your broken heart, you might even wonder if it’s worth risking at all.
  7. You worry about losing yourself in the process. Relationships are all about compromise and so far, the only one you’ve been compromising with is yourself. As hard as it might be, you’ll have to put one foot in front of the other and walk slowly ahead. Don’t rush things and take the time to gradually let him into those spaces you’ve kept vacant. It won’t happen overnight, but you’ll have to trust the process.
  8. Feelings can cause reckless emotions. When you actually catch genuine emotions for someone you don’t completely know yet, logic goes out the window and it’s a terrifying reality to grasp because up until now, you’ve been pretty good at keeping sane. Why couldn’t this dating crap be easier? Ugh.
  9. You question if he’s really worth it. The only way to truly know what he’s all about is to toss all of your fears off the fire escape and hope for the best. After all, it might be terrifying catching feelings for a guy when you’re single AF, but it could also be pretty worth it too — only time will tell.