If You’re Not Celebrating Your Breakup-iversary, You’re Missing Out

I’ll be the first to admit that breakups SUCK. No matter who ended the relationship, broken hearts take an incredible amount of time to heal, but the good news is that eventually, they do! That healing is worth celebrating. If you don’t celebrate your breakup-iversary, you’re missing out on the party of the year.

  1. Pity parties are so high school. You are not Elle Woods at the beginning of Legally Blonde: mascara-stained and pathetic, throwing chocolates at the TV screen from her bed. You are Harvard Elle Woods: smart as a whip and incredibly stylish. “What, like it’s hard?” Show your ex just what he’s missing by having the time of your life one week, one month, and still one year after the breakup.
  2. Breakup-iversaries add levity to a painful situation. Come on, people have celebrated much crazier things (seriously, National Tweed Day is a thing). Breakup-iversaries are kind of absurd, but that’s the point! This is your time to be extra, pop some bubbly, and celebrate you. It’s like a birthday, but better because you can have several breakup-iversaries a year. Sure, you could remember these dates by going through old photos and digging his t-shirt out of your underwear drawer, but isn’t a party more fun?
  3. Breakup-iversaries can help you move on. Like birthdays, breakup-iversaries celebrate growth and progress—no matter when you decide to celebrate them (you don’t have to wait a full year!). When you reach a major milestone after your breakup, ask yourself the following questions: “What parts of my life have improved since this relationship ended? How am I different? What am I looking forward to?” By noting these milestones and being conscious of your progress, you’ll be better equipped to move forward.
  4. They’re a fun way to measure your recovery… Moving on after a breakup takes time and there can still be a lot of unanswered questions a year later. Instead of dwelling in the past with a partner, breakup-iversaries allow you to focus on you and how you’ve grown. Especially as you get further from the date of your breakup, think of what you’d tell yourself then if you could. I like to remind myself of the new opportunities I’ve seized and people I’ve met since the breakup to remind me that life is happening just as it should.
  5. … And get your girlfriends involved. Let’s be honest, your girlfriends probably took a backseat to your guy when you were dating him. That’s normal and it’s okay, but I’m betting your friends miss you and have been wondering how to get you back on your feet. (And, to be completely honest, you could use their help!) Solicit their assistance with the party planning and make this fête as big as Galentine’s Day.
  6. It’s time to break out that little black dress. It’s been hidden in the back of your closet ever since your first date and it’s time to take that LBD out for a spin—no seriously, give it a twirl. Taking off those sweats you’ve been sporting and dressing up will make you feel hot, confident, and ready to take on the world because trust me, you are.
  7. No celebration is too small (or too fictitious) to merit champagne. Do I really need to convince you pop open the champagne? Yeah, breakups are serious bummers, but if your guy didn’t want to be with you (or you didn’t want to be with him), he’s not worth any more of your time or tears. You’ve got your freedom back and that, my dear, is definitely worth celebrating.
  8. You get to decide how that date is remembered. You could remember the date of the breakup as the day you lost your soul mate and life as you knew it ended, but guess what? He wasn’t your soulmate and your life still rocks! Breakup-iversaries allow you to put a positive spin on a painful memory and remember that date as cause for celebration rather than sobbing.
  9. Breakup-iversaries remind you to look forward. We’re counting up, not down. One week, one month, six months, two years—no matter when you celebrate your breakup-iversary you’re celebrating the time since your breakup. I promise you’ll be shocked to discover how quickly that time has passed and how much has changed since then.
  10. Forgetting your breakup-iversary is a sure sign that you’ve moved on. If you’ve really moved on (think: new beau, new job, or new city), you may forget your breakup-iversary entirely and that’s a really cool thing. Of course you can have a delayed celebration, but give yourself credit for overlooking the date of something that once was painful and is now buried in the past. That, too, is worth celebrating.
Julia is a recent graduate of the University of Virginia where she majored in English and French language and literature. She's engaged in an on-again-off-again French love affair (with the country itself) and has been crushing on French pop star Jean-Baptiste Maunier for about 8 years. When she's not writing you can find her rereading The Wizard of Oz or trying to run away with the circus.