You can’t help who you’re attracted to, but that doesn’t mean it’s love at first sight. Sometimes our feelings totally take over and blind us to what’s really going on. I almost made the mistake of committing to a guy who was just charming me into doing what he wanted. I’m glad I figured it out before I did something I would’ve regretted.
- I WASN’T USED TO GETTING ATTENTION. When I met him, I wasn’t used to getting a lot of attention from guys. I was kind of a sheltered kid and never really paid attention to the guys around me. I was a total tomboy and was used to my more girly friends getting all the attention from the boys. This guy had flirted with me before and I totally melted when he started paying attention to me exclusively. I always thought he was cute but getting all of his attention really made me think I liked him even more than I really did.
- HE MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS HIS DREAM GIRL. Not only did he give me tons of attention, he made it out like I was the girl he’d always been looking for in his life. Since I’d felt like I was in the shadows around my group of friends, I totally felt like someone finally realized that I was quite the catch. I totally loved that feeling and hung onto it. I loved being someone’s ideal girl and relished in the affection. I’d never felt that way before and really let my feelings rule my head.
- WE’D BEEN FRIENDS FOR AWHILE. This guy wasn’t someone I randomly met on the street. If he was a total stranger, I would’ve been much more skeptical of all of his affection, but he was someone I’d known for a few years. He was in my group of friends for awhile and it was groundbreaking to me that a guy who I wasn’t new to could be so sweet all of the sudden. It made me just like him more than any petty crush I’d had in the past and my guard was totally down.
- HE WAS A GENUINELY SWEET GUY. Even though he definitely didn’t have the best of intentions, he was a genuinely sweet guy with a kind heart. I let those characteristics overshadow the fact that he wanted things from me that I wasn’t willing to give up. I always used his good qualities to rationalize the fact that he was pushing me to have sex even though I wasn’t ready and he totally wasn’t settled on me exclusively. I wasn’t honest with myself because he was truly a nice guy who I knew.
- HE TOLD ME WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR. He read me like an open book and told me what I wanted to hear to get me to where he wanted me. He wanted to keep me interested but didn’t want me to get too attached so he played with my heart strings. He would flirt and shower me with compliments only to tell me about how things may be complicated once he had me reeled in.
- HE MADE ME BELIEVE HE WOULD TAKE IT SLOW. He definitely had a plan to get what he wanted out of our relationship physically, even though I had lots of walls up. He finessed his way to into my heart trying to get me to let down my guard. It didn’t always work but he definitely was able to manipulate my feelings to make it seem like we were taking it slow even though he only had one thing on his mind.
- I WAS TOTALLY HEAD OVER HEELS FOR HIM. I was totally sick with puppy love over this guy. I thought about him around the clock and was totally enamored that he took interest in me. I was to the point that he could play with my heart strings as much as he wanted and I was totally blind to it. I know better now but back then I just let my emotions run wild and I never questioned where they were taking me.
- HE HAD ME RIGHT WHERE HE WANTED ME. He wasn’t as innocent as he led on – he totally knew what he was doing the whole time we were talking. He had me pinned and knew that my emotions were totally fixed on him. We could’ve had a great relationship but he decided to use me selfishly instead. He had a plan to make me a sweet sexual encounter he could bring up with a few compliments, which ultimately didn’t work out.
- HE KNEW JUST WHAT TO SAY. I was so wrapped up in his words that I couldn’t see that he totally wasn’t the total package. I didn’t know it at the time but I could’ve done so much better than him. There’s something about a guy who’s smooth and collected that could just drop my guard completely and he was no exception. I’ve decided that guys who are a little too smooth are just that—a little TOO smooth. Watch out for the smooth talkers, ladies.
- HE DROPPED ME WHEN IT WAS INCONVENIENT. Once he realized that my boundaries were solid and I actually wanted to love him for real (imagine that) he was totally checked out. It was hurtful how easily he could drop me and move on to the next girl when I really wanted to give him the world. However, I’m so glad he did because it freed me up to find the guy who truly deserved my love and affection. And for the record, he isn’t nearly as smooth and that’s totally alright with me.
