If You Chase Him By Doing These 15 Things, He’ll Run In The Other Direction

You should never have to chase a man, but if you find yourself wanting to make the first move or show him that you’re interested, just make sure you don’t do these 15 things because you’ll end up looking desperate instead of dateable.

1. Be too nice You might say it’s just the way you are, but niceness can also be strategic. You know that he’ll warm up to you if you’re nice to him but that doesn’t mean you should go overboard. It comes across as manipulative. He’ll be thinking, “What’s her hidden agenda?” instead of “What’s her number?”
2. Tell him you’re available He says you should go out sometime and you tell him exactly what every minute of your weekend is looking like. Damn. Don’t make yourself too available—it looks like you’re ready to revolve your life around him.
3. Fake what you want You think you have to get him to like you by being just like him, down to your favorite hobbies and colors. WTF? He doesn’t want to date himself, he wants to date someone who’s different and interesting in her own way! Be you or you’ll be sorry you didn’t.
4. Bad-mouth your exes You might think that by talking about your exes and how crap they were, you’re showing him that he’s so much better. You might even tell him that he’s a nicer/hotter/funnier guy. Yikes. Putting him on a pedestal is creepy AF. He won’t feel flattered but scared—you’ve created a whole bunch of expectations and demands when you’re not even dating.
5. Not take “no” for an answer You invite him to your friend’s birthday party and he says he can’t go but you refuse to accept that. Instead, you try to persuade him to join you. Geez, slow down. Not only do you seem desperate to see him, but you should never have to persuade a guy to want to be with you. You know better.
6. Stalk him on social media You check out what he’s doing on social media and sometimes contact him on there when he doesn’t reply to your texts. Doing that or “lighter” things, such as retweeting his tweets or “liking” his Facebook posts, doesn’t show him you’re interested—it tells him you’re watching his every move.
7. Try to fix him If you rush in to help him sort out his problems, you’re taking on the role of his mother, not a girlfriend. It’s gross. Besides, did he even ask for help? If not, don’t be so eager to give it to him!
8. Sing his praises 24/7 You’re always quick to compliment him in a fun, slightly flirtatious way but too much of a good thing comes across as phony. When it comes to compliments, they’re like glitter makeup: less really is more.
9. Sext him Don’t initiate sexting, especially if you’re choosing to do it because he hasn’t been in touch. Oh no. It might get his attention but it won’t make him ask you out. In fact, he’ll have less reason to because you’re giving him everything he needs and killing any mystery that was there to begin with.
10. Stay on the phone too long. Although it’s cool to connect with him on the phone, it’s never a good thing to try to stretch the phone call as much as possible. It makes the conversation become boring, and he’ll associate that feeling of boredom with you. End the call sooner to keep him interested.
11. Become buddies with his loved ones You know he loves his friends and values their opinion on the women he dates, so you become best friends with them in the hope that he’ll see how well you fit into his life. Shady AF! You’re trying too hard to get him instead of letting things happen naturally.
12. Call him at work It’s always a bad idea to contact a guy at his work, even if you have his number or email address. It makes you look like you’re stalking him, not chasing him. It’s taking things one step too far and forcing intimacy that he’s just not interested in giving you.
13. Ask him how he feels It’s great to have The Talk when you’ve been dating for a while so you know where you stand. It’s not cool to dig him about his feelings for you when you don’t even know the guy and he hasn’t made any effort to date you.
14. Check he’s got the right number He asks you for your number and instead of just giving it to him, you make him read it back to you or text you so that you’re sure he got the digits right. Oh hell no. It looks neurotic and basically tells him you’re going to be waiting for his call. You can be sure he won’t call.
15. Do anything that just feels wrong You know in your gut when you’re chasing a guy and it just feels like it’s not the right thing for you to do. You know because you feel lousy after making that call, sending that text, or asking if he’s really sure he doesn’t want to come over to watch a movie. It’s a sign that the chase is making you become something you’re not, and no guy is worth that. Listen to your gut so you don’t degrade yourself.