If He Cheated WITH You, Don’t Be Surprised When He Cheats ON You

Have you ever heard the saying, “If you’re going to dig one grave, you’d better dig two?” Basically, if you’re complicit in inflicting pain on another person, you shouldn’t be surprised when the same thing happens to you somewhere down the line. This is especially true in relationships—if your guy cheats on his girlfriend to be with you, you’re probably going to get cheated on eventually too.

  1. He’s insecure about himself. Men often cheat because they aren’t comfortable with who they are and consequently don’t know how to process their feelings. Since your guy’s confused about his worth and what he wants, he takes his bad behavior out on those closest to him. Considering he’s cheated before in order to get with you, he’s already shown he’s insecure by initiating a relationship with you knowing he was in a relationship with someone else.
  2. He has no impulse control. A man who doesn’t know how to control himself is a wild card and doesn’t have the appropriate tools to be logical and practical. He’s shown how impulsive he is by engaging in a relationship with you before his other relationship ended. Do you really want to be with someone whose tastes and preferences change with the wind?
  3. He wants revenge for his own broken heart. Some men are just petty and there’s nothing that you can do to change that. You shouldn’t be surprised if he’s only with you as a type of revenge or payback for a woman that’s hurt him in the past. With this twisted logic, he’s only going to hurt you too and the cycle will continue until he grows up and gets over his past heartbreak.
  4. He’ll get bored with you. Just as he may have been bored with his last girlfriend that he left in order to be with you, what’s to stop him from feeling the same way about you? In order to keep his interest, you’ll constantly have to come up with ways to make him happy or to stroke his ego so that he won’t throw you away as did with his ex.
  5. Before he leaves you, he wants the next girl lined up. He doesn’t want to be alone,   chances are he’s not with you out of true love. He’s only with you because you’re something to pass the time away until he can find someone better, younger, prettier, etc. However, he doesn’t want to drop you until he has his next girl lined up. He’s shown this type of behavior to you previously by messing around with you while he was already in a relationship.
  6. He needs to get away from you; you’re holding on too tight. Since you’re aware that he may stray away or venture into the arms of someone else, you’ll probably become super clingy. Of course, it’ll make it easier for him to want to end things with you because you don’t trust him and he knows that you don’t trust him.
  7. He knows that you aren’t going anywhere so he can treat you like crap. Since you’ve signed off on his behavior passively, he knows that he has you for as long as he wants you. If you weren’t OK with his unfaithful behavior, you never would’ve chosen to mess around with him while he was already in a relationship. You shouldn’t be surprised that he’s disrespectful because he knows what you went through to be with him and you clearly aren’t willing to give up on the relationship.
  8. He’s used to getting rewarded for bad behavior. Simply put, he now has you as a reward for cheating on his previous girlfriend. He doesn’t understand boundaries, loyalty, or honesty and he doesn’t feel the need to understand since those qualities haven’t ultimately given him what he’s wanted.
  9. You don’t trust him because of his track record. In his mind, you knew how he was when you met him. Therefore, you shouldn’t be giving him the third degree asking him questions when you really don’t want to know the answers. If you believe that he’s sleeping around on you and your intuition is screaming at you, you have no one to blame but yourself. That kind of behavior should’ve been expected as he’s never shown you that he can be trustworthy.
  10. He’s used to lying and it’s not going to stop now. As you’ve continued your relationship with him, you should’ve learned that he’s a liar and he’s not going to change. He lied to his previous girlfriend; therefore, it’s no stretch of the imagination that he’ll lie to you. Why be surprised when all signs point to him as being an untrustworthy companion? You’ve made the choice to be with him; now you have to live with it.
Jasmine Eppes is a Freelance Writer who enjoys writing, both creatively and technically when the opportunity arises. She enjoys writing about various lifestyle topics, travel, and health care, to name a few things. When she's not writing, she's either buried deep in a really good book or planning her next trip.