Opinion: Once A Cheater Doesn’t Mean Always A Cheater

If someone cheats on you, you should probably show them the door. However, if you end up dating someone who cheated on an ex in the past, it doesn’t mean that they’re going to do the same to you. Despite what you’ve heard, once a cheater doesn’t mean always a cheater.

  1. Different people have different relationships. If he cheated on an ex, it doesn’t mean that he’s going to cheat on you. The situation with his old girlfriend was different than the situation he’s in now. Don’t you act differently with him than you did with your loser exes?
  2. People grow up. If he cheated back when he was a teenager, you can’t let it impact your current relationship. People do dumb thing when they’re young. As long as he’s learned from them, you don’t have anything to worry about.
  3. Not everyone is cut out for cheating. Some people cheat once and only once, because they felt absolutely horrible after the deed was done. Not everyone has the stomach for infidelity. If your man falls under that category, then he probably won’t cheat on you.
  4. Cheating isn’t always black and white. Cheating doesn’t necessarily mean that he slept with another woman. Maybe he was texting someone his ex wasn’t happy with or had a drunken kiss, which can be considered grey areas. As long as you two have specific boundaries, he won’t make that mistake again.
  5. We all make mistakes. Even if you’ve never cheated, you’ve still made mistakes in your past relationships that some people would consider unforgivable. You wouldn’t want your boyfriend to judge you for the things you’ve done in the past, so you should give him the same treatment.
  6. It’s possible to break any habit. If a drug addict can kick their addiction, your partner can stop cheating. If they want to be loyal, then they will be. It’s all up to them.
  7. Circumstances can push a person to do crazy things. We’ve all done things that we aren’t proud of. It usually happens when we’re stuck in a tough position. If your boyfriend was in a difficult situation when he cheated on his ex, then you might want to let his actions slide just this once.
  8. Sex drives change. Men have higher libidos when they’re younger. Now that he’s older and knows how to deal with his lust, he’ll be less likely to stray. His hormones won’t control him anymore.
  9. Love makes it more difficult to cheat. It’s easier to cheat on someone you don’t give a crap about. If your boyfriend wasn’t in love with his ex, but is crazy about you, then you shouldn’t expect him to treat you the same way he treated her.
  10. The right guy won’t do anything to risk losing you. If he genuinely wants to spend the rest of his life with you, he won’t dare to look at another woman wrong, let alone sleep with her. He’ll be completely loyal to you, because he won’t want to lose the best thing that’s ever happened to him.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.