I Chose Being Single & Independent Over Love & Commitment—I Don’t Regret It

When people find out about my choice to pursue my own life goals instead of love, they always give me a strange look. Thankfully, I’m pretty secure in my choice—here’s why I made the decision to stay single and why I don’t regret it for a second.

I don’t need someone else to complete meI’m a whole person by myself; I’m not the half of someone else’s whole. There’s nothing missing from me that needs to be filled inby another human being. I am a whole person, a fully realized human being. The idea of anyone thinking otherwise is so insulting. Love and commitment should be about two people bringing two lives together, not merging into one entity.

I love being able to make my own schedule. I don’t have to plan dates or make sure I answer text messages in a timely manner. I never have to worry about the stress of these things because I don’t have anyone constantly checking up on me. I get to make my schedule based on what I need to do for me that day and that’s honestly so freeing. I love being able to focus on what’s best for me as a person, whatever that may be.

I can totally just hop on a plane and go see the world. There’s a lot of planning involved in a relationship. I like having the freedom to just buy a plane ticket and enjoy a weekend away from the city I’m living in. Taking a vacation is as easy as deciding I want to go somewhere and making the necessary arrangements to get there. I don’t even have to tell anyone where I’m going if I don’t want to. I also don’t have to worry about hurting my partner’s feelings if I wanted to take this vacation alone. It’s bliss.

I never have to worry about choosing my career over my relationship. I got a degree which cost me a pretty penny and several of the best years in my early twenties. I worked really, really hard for this degree and it set me up for a career that I love. I always knew that at some point, getting into a relationship might cause some strain. I love to throw myself into my work but I’m also aware that a career can get in the way of a relationship. I worked my butt off to get where I am professionally and it’s not something I’d ever throw away lightly.

Casual dating fulfills my need for intimate relationships just fine. I don’t need to fall in love and spend the rest of my life with someone to be able to fill my need for intimacy. Casual dating does the job just fine. Not only that, but I get to meet tons of new people and have a lot of new experiences that I wouldn’t have otherwise. Going out, having fun, and meeting new people is one of the best things about being single.

No, I’m not lonely, but thanks for asking. For some people, getting into a serious relationship can cause alienation with their friends and family. We all have that friend who gets really get caught up in the honeymoon period and forgets to check in with their friends for a couple of weeks, and I don’t need that in my life. My social life is bursting to the brim with my friends and family. When people hear that I’ve chosen to stay single, they ask me, “Aren’t you lonely?” And the answer is always no, not even a little. My friends and family keep me busy enough.

Falling in love isn’t the only goal in life. A lot of people see falling in love, getting married and starting a family to be the ultimate achievement in life, and if that’s their ultimate goal, that’s totally fine. For me, that stuff isn’t even on my radar. Falling in love and getting married should be for people who really, really want it. If I can’t see myself getting married and having children with someone, I don’t even want to try and force it. Staying single and independent allows me to focus on the goals in MY life, as ever-changing as they may be.

Sometimes I like to spend an entire weekend in my underwear eating Chinese food. And I shouldn’t be judged for that! OK, so the goal of a long-term relationship is to be able to do those things together and not feel judged for it. But my ideal weekend sitting around and eating Chinese food involves doing it alone. Being able to spend my free time the way I want without judgment is one of the best things about living that single, independent life. I never have to put on pants for anyone that I don’t want to.

I don’t want to be responsible for someone else’s happinessRelationships can come with a lot of baggage, and some of it I’m not really equipped to deal with. In the end, having responsibility for myself is enough work as it is. I don’t want to be responsible for someone else’s happiness too. If the relationship were to end, I’d be tasked with dealing with my own emotions and my partner’s. Living the single life, I only have to worry about me.

I like being single and independent and that’s all there is to it. The real reason I’m staying single is that I want to and I like it. It really is that simple.

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