Are You A Chronic Over-Analyzer? 10 Signs Relationships Bring Out The Worst In You

We’re all human, so it’s totally normal for our brains to go into overdrive every so often. For most people, a stressful conflict at work, a sick family member, or a tension between friends can all cause thoughts to spiral out of control. But for those of us who are overthinkers already, romantic relationships bring out the worst in us. Here’s how you know you’re one of us.

  1. The unknown of a new relationship is already stressful as hell. Even for the most well-adjusted and chill person, when you’re getting to know someone new, you can’t help but wonder if you’re doing everything right. When is too early for them to see your crazy side? How soon are you expected to break down your walls? Is it bad if he hasn’t introduced you to his friends yet? When you overthink everything no matter what he does or says, your brain will come up with 7383 scenarios, all of which are probably false.
  2. You draft and redraft every text 10 times. Most of us can type a novel with our eyes closed in less than a minute and have minimal mistakes thanks to auto-correct. But when you obsess over everything it can take a lot longer to send a message, because first you have to think through exactly how it can be perceived (even though let’s be real, it’ll never be perfect anyway).
  3. Every time they’re in a bad mood, you panic. We all have bad days and they usually don’t mean the world is ending or that we’ll break up with our significant other because they can’t miraculously fix our problems. Unfortunately, that doesn’t stop you from freaking out when he’s had a rough week. You somehow convince yourself that it’s all your fault, that he’ll somehow blame you and that nothing will ever be the same, which is totally exhausting.
  4. Every time you’re in a bad mood, you think they’ll panic. Since you overreact and think worst-case scenario whenever your partner comes home less than perky, you’re naturally convinced that they do the same when the tables are turned. So you feel the need to be super reassuring and remind them that you’ll feel better after some Netflix and a glass of wine.
  5. Telling you not to worry is the number one thing likely to make you worry. Everyone knows that the way to ensure someone won’t calm down is to tell them to calm down, and the same is true here. If you’re the kind of person whose least favorite phrase is, “Babe, don’t worry about it,” you’re a textbook over-thinker. And someone telling you not to worry is the best way to guarantee that it happens.
  6. Finding a way to communicate is absolutely essential. Everyone tries to find a way to talk about things with their significant other, but when you’re an overthinker, not figuring out the ups and downs of communication is an absolute dealbreaker. You’re going to read into everything six times over, so making sure you can let your partner know how you’re feeling in any situation, and being able to tell how they’re feeling is beyond necessary.
  7. Meeting his friends or family feels like taking a high-pressure exam. Overthinkers are usually also perfectionists, and that means you hold yourself to the highest standards. The first time you meet the important people in his life (or the twelfth time), your palms will sweat, your blood pressure will rise, and you’ll be asking, “Do you think they liked me?!” before you’re halfway out the door.
  8. No matter how reassuring he is, your mind just won’t shut up. Even with a partner who reminds you constantly that you are enough and that you don’t need to overthink everything, it’s unavoidable. The more they say that, the more you worry—you just can’t help it!! It’s like your brain has a mind of its own and it doesn’t realize that taking a break will help you, not make you spontaneously combust.
  9. You often lie awake at night replaying conversations and planning new ones. There’s no such thing as when it’s done it’s done in your world. Instead, you find it impossible to fall asleep at night without mentally going back through everything that happened that day to make sense of it (i.e. make it more complicated). You should get a medal for how thoroughly you can dissect an encounter.
  10. Every time you need to talk through an issue, you feel ridiculous. You overthink everything, including how much you overthink, and that makes you feel insane when you announce to your partner how much you’re overthinking…whoa. It’s important to be able to talk to him about your insecurities and get reassurance, but it also makes you feel even more self-conscious, which probably perpetuates the problem.
  11. You know you’ll do it again next time. Even though it takes a ton of energy to dissect everything, panic about it, express your concerns every five minutes and then move on to the next thing, it’s just who you are. The best partner and the best relationship still won’t prevent you from over-thinking everything, so you mine as well accept it. As long as you love yourself for it (and not in spite of it) and find someone who will do the same, you will be okay.
We only have one chance to live this life and I'm making the most of it. I'll make plenty of mistakes along the way but each one will send me further down the right path.