I’m Chronically Single But Please Don’t Pity Me — My Life Is Awesome

I’m Chronically Single But Please Don’t Pity Me — My Life Is Awesome ©iStock/pixdeluxe

Being the chronically single girl for the past several years hasn’t always been easy, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a fulfilling and happy life. You may pity me because it seems like everyone else is either married, engaged or celebrating relationship milestones I’ve yet to experience, but it’s not really a big deal. Single life isn’t always a string of heartbreaks, deep seeded loneliness and pints of Ben & Jerry’s on the couch. In other words, don’t feel bad for me because I’m single — I sure as hell don’t.

  1. I’ve discovered several new passions all on my own. It’s not to say that my past relationships held me back, but I’ve definitely pursued more new interests and hobbies while being single long-term than I ever had in any relationship before. Because relationships are about compromise, I was always thinking and planning a schedule for two, and right now all I have to worry about is myself. It’s fantastic.
  2. I’ve become stronger than ever in my search. I’ve had a lot of new opportunities with guys who didn’t work out in the long run. I’ve been hurt and disappointed numerous times and even though those periods we’re difficult to get through, I not only survived, I went on to thrive. My heart may have taken on several beatings, but it’s stronger than ever now and I’m proud of that.
  3. I’ve built a life I’m proud of. I could have chosen to float from guy to guy, hoping to fill that void eventually, but I chose a different path. While the relationships I was hoping for were failing, I learned to spend my time focusing on and bettering other areas of my life. I have a place of my own to call home, deep deep and solid relationships with my friends and a career I’m in love with. I may not have a boyfriend, but everything around me is the product of myself and my own hard work, and there’s no better feeling.
  4. I’ve gotten over the loneliness. I’ll admit I’ve gone through more lonely spells than I’d have liked, but in experiencing the fear and anguish of being completely on my own for so long, I’ve learned to become insanely happy and content with just my own company. It doesn’t even faze me to sit in complete silence doing nothing at all sometimes because I’ve become my own best friend. There’s nothing more empowering than being in control of your own happiness.
  5. My new life experiences are equally as amazing. I’m doing all the same things everyone else is doing, I’m just doing them without a guy on my arms. I’m travelling, opening new career doors and making memories with the people that mean the most to me here and now. Love isn’t something you need to enjoy life. Sure, it might make things a little bit sweeter, but I’ve learned to sweeten my life in my own way.
  6. I’m happier waiting for the right guy. Waiting might seem like it’s torture, especially as you get older, but it doesn’t even feel like waiting when I have so many other amazing things going on in the meantime. It might be taking me much longer to find someone, but I’m happier knowing that I’m waiting for the right guy for me, and not someone who’s just OK.
  7. I’m using my freedom wisely. Being single means that I have total freedom and I’ve decided to use mine constructively. Single life doesn’t mean I’m constantly out bed-hopping and partying until the sun comes up. Instead, I’m hiking mountains, both figuratively and literally. I’m taking the freedom I have right now and designing a life that feels amazing on my own. When the right guy finally steps in, he’ll only be a perfect addition — not a necessity.
  8. I’ve learned to be happy alone. It might not always be rainbows and sunshine, but being alone and being happy with just myself has come to be one of the best feelings I could hope for. They say that you can’t be happy in a relationship if you can’t be happy alone, which means I’m going to be one happy ray of sunshine when I finally meet my person.
  9. I’m killing it. This stretch of single life may have started as completely unintentional, but I wouldn’t trade this experience for any Prince Charming on a white horse. I’ve done amazing things in my time alone and I wake up every day with a fierce intention to slay another day. I’m bossing my life and I would have never had these same opportunities if I had just fallen so quickly into another relationship after my last. You might feel bad for me for being single this long, but as you can see, there’s really nothing to feel sorry for. I’m killing it.