Chronically Unhappy People Should Avoid These 15 Habits

Chronically Unhappy People Should Avoid These 15 Habits

Happiness isn’t a destination you arrive at because of big, life-changing decisions. It’s about finding joy in the little things and accepting things we can’t change. Chronically happy people fall into traps and sneaky habits that keep them stuck and void of joy. If you’re not feeling it, avoid these behaviors and learn to smile again.

1. Treating Every Decision Like It’s Life or Death

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Agonizing over every little choice, like it’s the world’s end, is no way to live. Decisions like what to eat for dinner and which shoes to wear can feel like major life events when they’re not. Constantly treating small decisions like big ones is exhausting.

How to avoid it: Remind yourself that most decisions aren’t permanent. Pick something, try it, and move on. Life will keep rolling, and not every choice needs to be a huge deal.

2. Sabotaging Their Free Time

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Ever notice how some people turn “me time” into another to-do list? Chronically unhappy people fill up every second of their free time with activities—sometimes even self-care routines—until they’re stressed about relaxing. Instead of unwinding, they’re chasing productivity, even when they’re supposed to take it easy.

How to avoid it: Permit yourself to do nothing. Seriously. It’s okay to have unscheduled downtime where you can chill without guilt.

3. Living in “When” Land

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Unhappy people often think, “I’ll be happy when…”—when I get that job, lose the weight, find the relationship. It’s like happiness is always somewhere just out of reach, and they’re constantly chasing it but never catching it.

How to avoid it: Focus on the now. Find something in your current life to appreciate or enjoy. Happiness doesn’t have to wait until some future milestone—you can create it today, right where you are.

4. Ignoring Their Gut Feelings

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Chronically unhappy people tend to suppress their instincts and inner voice. They convince themselves they’re overreacting or being irrational, ignoring that gut feeling that something isn’t quite right.

How to avoid it: Start trusting your instincts. Your gut feelings are there for a reason. When something feels off, listen to yourself and take it seriously.

5. Waiting for Perfect Conditions

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How often have you heard someone say, “I’ll start when the time’s right”? Unhappy people usually wait for everything to align perfectly before they take action—starting a new project or making a life change. The problem is that perfect conditions rarely exist.

How to avoid it: Start. Conditions will never be 100% perfect, and that’s okay. You can adjust along the way. The key is to begin, even if it’s messy.

6. Operating in Disaster Mode

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Some people habitually turn every “what if” into the worst possible scenario. “What if I fail?” “What if it all goes wrong?” Their imagination is stuck in disaster mode, making them afraid to take risks or try new things.

How to avoid it: Challenge your “what if” thoughts. Instead of focusing on the worst case, ask yourself, “What if it goes well?” You might be surprised at how many good outcomes are possible.

7. Being Glued to Social Media and Negative News Cycles

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Unhappy people often consume constant news, staying glued to their phones or TVs. And let’s face it, the news isn’t exactly known for its feel-good stories. Staying immersed in bad news all day can make the world feel a lot darker than it is.

How to avoid it: Take a break from the 24/7 news cycle. Set boundaries around when and how often you check the news. Balance it out with something uplifting or positive.

8. Overcomplicating Simple Tasks

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You know, the type—someone who turns a quick, easy task into a full-blown project. What could be a five-minute job suddenly becomes an ordeal because they overthink every step.

How to avoid it: Keep things simple. If something can be done quickly, don’t make it more complicated than necessary. Get it done, and move on.

9. Having a “Someday” Mentality

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Unhappy people are always talking about what they’ll do someday. “Someday I’ll travel,” “Someday I’ll learn that skill.” The problem is that “someday” rarely becomes today, and they stay stuck in the same place.

How to avoid it: Stop waiting for “someday” and start making small moves toward your goals now. Even tiny steps today are better than endless waiting.

10. Overanalyzing Every Compliment

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Instead of just accepting a compliment, chronically unhappy people dissect it. They wonder if the person meant it, if it was sarcasm, or if it’s some pity compliment. They turn something positive into a source of doubt.

How to avoid it: Say, “Thank you.” Accept compliments at face value, and don’t overthink them. Let yourself feel good when someone says something nice.

11. Obsessing Over Things Out of Their Control

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Unhappy people often spend a lot of energy worrying about things that are out of their control, such as the actions of others or unpredictable life events. This focus on the uncontrollable leads to frustration and helplessness.

How to avoid it: Shift your focus to what you can control—your reactions, mindset, and choices. Let go of the rest. Learning to accept uncertainty is a huge step toward greater peace of mind.

12. Replaying Regrets Like a Broken Record

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Unhappy people tend to revisit old mistakes or regrets repeatedly. They replay awkward conversations, missed opportunities, and bad decisions until they’re stuck in a loop of “what could have been.”

How to avoid it: When you dwell on the past, shift your focus to the present. The past is done—you can’t change it. But you can control what you do now.

13. Faking Positivity

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Some people put on a fake smile and pretend everything’s fine, even when they’re struggling. They force positivity, thinking that’s what they’re “supposed” to do, but it only deepens their unhappiness because they’re not being authentic.

How to avoid it: It’s okay not to be okay. Be honest about how you’re feeling. Acknowledging your genuine emotions is the first step toward healing.

14. Keeping Score in Relationships

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Unhappy people often keep a mental scorecard in their relationships, tracking every favor, argument, or act of kindness. This creates a sense of resentment, turning relationships into a transactional exchange instead of something built on trust and care.

How to avoid it: Let go of keeping score. Relationships aren’t about who did what or who owes whom. Give freely and focus on the connection, not the tally.

15. Believing Happiness Is a Destination

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Chronically unhappy people often think happiness is something they’ll achieve someday—like a goal to check off their list. They think, “Once I get X, Y, or Z, I’ll be happy.” But happiness isn’t a destination you arrive at—it’s something you cultivate along the way.

How to avoid it: Focus on finding joy in the little things daily. Happiness is a practice, not a destination. Start noticing moments of contentment and gratitude wherever you are.

Natasha is a seasoned lifestyle journalist and editor based in New York City. In a stellar two-decade career, she has reported on the latest lifestyle news and trends for publications like Grazia, Elle, and InStyle.