A good man is hard to find, as the old saying goes, meaning if you’re lucky enough to find one, you’d do well to hang onto him. But how do you know if you’re dating a legitimately decent dude who’s worth your time or if you’re simply blinded by how much you like him? Here are some signs you’ve finally found the real deal — lucky you!
He respects your autonomy. A good man knows that as much as he cares for you and wants to keep you safe, you’re fully capable of looking after yourself. He appreciates that you have your own life, your own interests and passions, and your own goals in life separate from your relationship and that it’s important that you continue to pursue those things despite being coupled up with him. He doesn’t expect you to give up your individuality for the sake of the relationship.
He’s a man of his word. When he tells you that he’ll be somewhere or he’ll do something, a good man lives up to it. He doesn’t make promises he can’t keep or pay lip service just to keep you quiet/happy. He takes his word seriously and knows that it’s vital to maintaining the trust in your relationship. That’s not to say that things don’t come up sometimes, but if it’s within his power, he’s always right there by your side where he says he’ll be.
He doesn’t pout or lash out when he doesn’t get his own way. If you’re not in the mood for sex when he’s horny or you’ve already made plans for the two of you with your family when he wants to go out with his friends, he doesn’t get mad or start acting like a child by giving you the silent treatment because he’s disappointed or upset. Instead, a good man knows that life is about compromise and he’s not the only person in the relationship. Ah, refreshing!
He’s ambitious but realistic. He has loads of things he wants to accomplish in life and some of them are a bit more achievable than others. However, he has a good head on his shoulders and always puts his adult responsibilities at the top of the list. A good man (and a smart one!) doesn’t quit his job one day because he suddenly decides he’s going to try and mine bitcoins for a living. He doesn’t give up his apartment because he just read Thoreau and wants to live off the land. You get where I’m going with this?
He doesn’t try to change you. It goes without saying that someone who tries to change you or parts of you doesn’t love you. They love the person they imagine you to be in their heads, and that’s not fair. The ideal relationship is one in which you’re free to be who you are in all your glory, imperfections and all. A good man, the right one for you, will treasure you not in spite of those imperfections but because of them.
He never takes you for granted. It’s normal to get comfortable in a relationship and occasionally forget just how much your partner does for you. However, a good man always catches himself in his tracks and makes sure you know just how much he appreciates all the little (and big!) things you do to make his life easier and better. He would never take you for granted because he knows just how miserable he would be without you.
He makes you feel special. At the end of the day, we all want to be with someone who treasures us and makes us feel like the most special person they’ve ever met even if we know that’s not true. If you have that with this guy, hang onto him. He’s a good one.