Relationships go through ups and downs, but sometimes it’s more than just a rough patch—you might feel completely disconnected emotionally and sexually without fully realizing it. It’s not something that happens overnight, but once you start noticing the signs, it can feel hard to ignore. Here are some clear, down-to-earth signs that you’ve emotionally and sexually checked out of your relationship, and what that might mean for the future.
1. You Don’t Feel Like Sharing Anymore
Remember when you couldn’t wait to tell your partner everything about your day—whether it was something exciting or just a random thought? It might seem small, but if that urge to share has disappeared and you’d rather keep things to yourself or talk to someone else, it’s a sign that you’ve started emotionally disconnecting.
2. Physical Intimacy Feels Awkward or Forced
It’s not just about sex—it’s the little things like cuddling, holding hands, or even sitting close on the couch. If you’re dodging physical closeness or it feels uncomfortable when you do connect, that’s a sign something’s up. When you’ve emotionally checked out, physical intimacy is the first thing to go.
3. Sex Feels Like a Chore
If you’re still having sex, it might feel like something you do just to keep the peace, not because you actually want to. There’s no real excitement or passion anymore. When sex becomes more of a checkbox than a way to connect, it’s a clear sign you’ve checked out emotionally and sexually.
4. You Don’t Miss Them When They’re Not Around
Whether they’re away for a few hours or a few days, you’re not feeling that sense of longing like you used to. You don’t miss them, and their absence might even be a relief. If their presence doesn’t make a difference in your day, it’s a pretty clear sign of emotional distance.
5. You’re Relieved When They Make Plans Without You
When your partner tells you they’ve made plans that don’t involve you—like going out with friends or heading to a work event—you feel more relieved than left out. If you look forward to that time apart instead of missing them or wanting to be involved, it’s a pretty big sign that you’ve emotionally distanced yourself from them.
6. You Don’t Open Up to Them Anymore
Relationships are built on sharing—whether it’s your day, your dreams, or your fears. If things like your hopes, dreams, and other things stop showing up in your conversations, it’s a big sign that you’ve emotionally checked out. When your partner isn’t the first person you turn to, the emotional connection is starting to fade.
7. You Fantasize About Being Single
If you find yourself daydreaming about what life would be like without your partner—or even imagining what it’d be like with someone else—it’s a sign that you’re mentally drifting away. When your mind starts wandering toward being single or in a different relationship, it might be time to reconsider the relationship.
8. You’re Constantly Irritated by Them
Everything they do starts to annoy you, even the little things that never used to bother you. Whether it’s how they chew their food, the way they talk, or their small habits, it all starts to get under your skin. This is usually because there’s now an emotional distance between the two of you, which can lead to a lot of pent-up resentment.
9. You’ve Stopped Trying
Relationships take effort—planning date nights, having meaningful conversations, or just making time for each other. If you’ve stopped putting in that effort altogether, it’s a sign that you’ve emotionally and mentally checked out.
10. You Don’t Feel Jealous Anymore
Jealousy isn’t always a good thing, but feeling a little protective of your relationship is normal. If you don’t even bat an eyelid when your partner spends time with other people—especially those who might be romantic interests—you’ve probably stopped caring about the relationship altogether.
11. You’d Rather Spend Time Alone or With Friends
It’s totally normal to enjoy time alone or with friends, but if you’re consistently choosing other people over your partner, that’s a red flag. When you’d rather be anywhere else than spending time with them, it’s a sign that the emotional and physical connection has faded.
12. You’re Not Attracted to Them Anymore
Attraction can ebb and flow over time, but if you’ve completely lost interest in your partner physically, it’s a huge warning sign that something’s off. You might find yourself avoiding intimacy altogether, and even the thought of being physically close doesn’t appeal to you anymore.
13. You’ve Stopped Arguing, and Not in a Good Way
Conflict isn’t always a bad thing—it means you care enough to want to fix issues between the two of you. But if you’ve stopped arguing altogether, you might find that you’ve stopped caring. When you don’t even feel the need to fight or work through issues, it’s a sign that emotional indifference has set in.
14. You Don’t Plan a Future Together Anymore
In healthy relationships, you naturally talk about the future—planning trips, discussing big decisions, or imagining what life will look like down the road. If you’re no longer interested in making plans with your partner, or you avoid future conversations altogether, it’s a sign that you’ve mentally checked out of the relationship.
15. You Feel Unappreciated and Resentful
If you’re constantly feeling unappreciated or resentful of your partner, then you might be drifting away from each other. These feelings of bitterness build up over time and can begin to create an emotional barrier between you and your partner, which makes it harder to reconnect both emotionally and physically.