Your feelings will be all over the place after a bad breakup and no matter how hard you try to be the bigger person, you’ll fail (at least temporarily). That’s OK! Here are 14 cliche, messy, and totally normal things you’ll do while you get over your ex.
Try to be friends
You’ll try to go from boyfriend and girlfriend to platonic pals but it won’t work, especially not right after your split. You both need time to mourn the relationship and accept it’s over. You can’t do that while trying to maintain a friendship. Give it time—if there’s a non-romantic connection there, it’ll still be there when you’re ready.
Maybe you’ll try to make him jealous via social media, or maybe you’ll actually cause him physical pain. You’ll want to get back at him, but be smart about it. Remember, people, are usually more bothered when they get no reaction at all. The best revenge really is focusing on yourself and living your best life.
Blame him and then yourself
At first, you’ll insist that everything is his fault. After all, he was the one who broke up with you. But once your hatred grows into guilt, you’ll start blaming yourself for everything that went wrong even though you’re not 100% accountable. Relationships take two people and so do breakups.
Stop focusing on work
Not only will your social life go down the drain but so will your professional life. You’ll probably have a hard time focusing on your job. You might even feel like quitting. Please don’t. It’s OK to be sad, but don’t let that sadness stop you from paying your bills.
Avoid most of your friends
Your friends who are in relationships will no longer be your friends, at least not so soon after your breakup. The only people you’ll want to see are your single, free-spirited buddies. That way, you won’t have love thrown in your face all the time.
Eat too much (or not enough)
You’ll either eat too much food or you’ll skip meals entirely. Either way, be mindful! It’s perfectly fine to stuff your face with ice cream or forget breakfast for the first couple of days, but don’t let it become a habit. Keep yourself healthy.
Try to “find yourself”
You won’t know who you are anymore—at least you won’t feel like you do. This is why you’ll start exploring new activities, places, and friendships. You might even find a new hobby or place to live in. It’s cliche, yes, but trying to find yourself is an important part of a breakup.
Cry for no reason at all
You’ll think about your ex all the time and everything will remind you of him. Random things like a movie or TV show will flood you with memories. And you’ll cry…hard. It’ll suck, but you’ll get through it.
Make Snap Decisions.
You’ll make a lot of snap decisions without thinking them through. The good news is a lot of those decisions will improve your life. Breakups give us a sudden sense of freedom, so we do things we’ve always been too afraid to do.
Contact him too much
You’ll tell yourself you’re better off without him, and maybe you are, but that won’t stop you from calling to let him know how amazing your new life is. He won’t believe you and you’ll feel embarrassed… but you’ll still call him at least 10 times after that first initial conversation.
Spend time with another ex
You’re going to spend time with an ex-lover and things will get messy. You’ll catch feels and the relationship will blow up in your face. But hey, we’ve all been there.
Change your appearance
My friend always changed her eyebrows after a breakup. She’d thin them out, shave them off, or grow them so they were Chewbacca furry. It was weird but it was her thing. Maybe you’ll keep it low key and just get bangs.
Update your home
You’ll want to remove every trace of him from your life and house. The bed sheets you two slept in? His picture on your nightstand? Bye-bye. The good news is you’ll have a reason to update your decor, which is always fun.
Find a rebound
Go ahead and assume the first relationship after your breakup will be a rebound. There’s nothing wrong with that as long as you’re honest. Don’t get your new guy’s hopes up with talk of marriage. Be real so no one gets screwed over.
Insist you’re over him when you’re really not
You’ll try to convince yourself you’re over him. You’ll tell your friends, your family, and anyone who’ll listen that he’s history but you’ll know deep down that you don’t feel that way. That’s perfectly OK. If you need to throw a false truth into the universe for it to come true, go right ahead!
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