I didn’t realize I was being a stage-five clinger until my BFF noticed my unhealthy texting habits and thankfully set me straight. Here are the embarrassing things I did.
I sent the dreaded double text. I know double texting isn’t that bad… unless you’re doing it all the time. Guilty as charged. I’d get into such a tizz over a guy not texting me back that I’d re-send the exact message “just in case.” Eek. It made me look so desperate for his reply.
I texted right away. It’s cool to be close to your phone and text the guy right away when he texts you sometimes, but I’d go the extra mile to be sure that I’d always be in the vicinity of my phone so I could send a reply within five seconds. Ugh, the pressure. No wonder some guys would ask if I was attached to my phone. It looked like I was doing nothing but sitting around waiting for his texts.
I “checked in.” I was the queen of the “hey, just checking in” message. I’d send this if the guy hadn’t texted me for a while, but honestly, underneath those seemingly benign words, the guy could tell I was really angry and demanding why he hadn’t bothered to get in touch. I had to accept that if he’s not texting me, he’s not into me. Case closed.
I checked out his social media accounts. There’s being a clingy texter and then there’s being a stalker, and I was sadly the latter. If a guy didn’t get back to me via text, I’d find other ways to track him down like hitting him up on Facebook or Instagram. This was inappropriate chasing.
I never gave him a chance. Instead of letting the guy get in touch with me first once in a while, I was always initiating conversation. I told myself it was because I really enjoyed our conversations, but honestly it was because I was afraid that if I didn’t, he wouldn’t bother. Sad.
I talked about random crap. It’s cool to share random things with someone via text throughout the day, but there were times when I had texting remorse because I’d send something really boring and silly and expect the guy to reply. Meanwhile, who the hell cares that I got stuck in traffic on the way to work or that the sunset was pretty cool (picture attached)? I learned really quickly that sending boring texts too often was a guaranteed way to make the guy lose interest.
I didn’t take the hint. I realized I was a clingy texter with one guy I was dating by how he’d say he’d get back to me when he wasn’t swamped at work. Then he never did. This happened twice before I realized he was never going to text me again. Ouch.
I checked my phone every five seconds. My phone was strapped to me like it supplied oxygen to my lungs. I’d check it really often to see if the guy had read my message or sent me a reply. This behavior made me obsess over when he was going to get in touch and what I should do to try to get a response out of him if he didn’t. SMH. What a waste of time! There’s no doubt that all that nervous energy was seeping into my messages.
I texted him based on his social media updates. When I’d see the guy had posted a juicy Facebook update, I’d be inspired to get in touch with him via text to ask him about it. Awkward! It not only made me look like a stalker, but it was basically like telling him, “Hey, you’re not keeping me in the loop so I’m going to put you on the spot about that!”
I didn’t give him a chance to miss me. Missing someone is good. It means that you want them around and that you have a case of the feels for them. The problem is that by always being up in the guy’s grill, I just wasn’t giving him a chance to miss me enough to want to reach out. I was always there, ready to send him a text. It was annoying.
I ignored the signs. I thought I could make the guy interested in me by texting him a lot or sending lots of interesting texts. It backfired. I looked like I didn’t have self-confidence because I was jumping through hoops to get his attention. Ugh.
My texts were always longer than his. I’d send the guy long texts and he’d reply with a few words. Yikes. It was clear I was investing much more in our communication. I should’ve backed off and let him rise to the occasion—and move on if he didn’t. Instead, I was desperate to try to make things happen. Nowadays, if a guy doesn’t respond or texts me dreaded one-word answers, I’m out of there in the time it takes to send a text.
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