When you’re in a relationship, deciding to move in together is a massive decision that marks a serious commitment and isn’t made without serious consideration… or at least that’s how it should be. However, a new trend has emerged among millennials known as “cohabidating.” Are you guilty of this? Here’s what it is and what you need to know.
It’s all about saving money. Cohabidating is basically when you decide to move in with someone you’ve just met/started dating for the sake of saving money. It’s not that you’re totally in love and ready to plan your future together, you just think cheaper rent would be pretty sweet and you like them enough to live with them… or so you think.
You’re really rushing into things. To qualify as a cohabidater, you have to really be jumping the gun on making such a huge commitment. While most couples choose to move in together a year or more into a relationship because it’s the next logical step for them, cohabidaters aren’t against the idea of signing a lease with someone they’ve only been seeing for a few weeks or a couple of months. Yikes.
You know nothing about their living habits. Having roommates can be a dicey situation in general, but doubling up on dating and living together when you barely know the person is a recipe for disaster. After all, you barely even know the surface level stuff about them and you’re going in totally blind when it comes to their living habits. What if they leave the bathroom totally gross? What if they don’t wash dishes after they’ve eaten?
What happens if your romantic relationship doesn’t work out? Sure, you could just transition to being friends and roommates but that’s not likely to go smoothly. You’ve seen each other naked, so turning off that element of your relationship and trying to exist as platonic friends sharing an apartment probably won’t go very smoothly. Talk about awkward.
What if they’re not financially responsible? You might think you’ve gotten a pretty good sense of what they’re like from the little bit of time you’ve been dating, but do you really? You have no idea what their financial situation actually is. They could be in thousands of dollars worth of debt. They could rely on their parents to pay their bills. They could just be lazy with their money and not pay rent on time. When you’re sharing a living space with someone, all of these things are a VERY big deal.
Cohabidating isn’t the only way. Sure, it seems like a better idea to move in with someone you sorta kinda know at least on a basic level than to have to Craigslist a roommate situation and move in blind, but is it really? You don’t have to move in with someone you just started dating to save money—in fact, you’d probably be better off with a random since your chances of roommate success are probably a little higher.
Saving money is important but you have to be smart. If you’re still dating a year from now and it makes sense, sure, go ahead and move in together. That’s an awesome step to take in a serious relationship and it can be really exciting. For now, saving money at the cost of your sanity and security when it comes to living arrangements just isn’t worth it.
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