Are You A Commitment-Phobe?

Commitment isn’t as easy as everyone makes it out to be. Relationships are hard work, and when they crash and burn, it can really be heartbreaking. But life without being able to trust another person or without ever being open to love again doesn’t lead to happiness. You have to be willing to try again if you want any hope of meeting The One, no matter how scary the possibility of getting hurt might be. Are you a commitment-phobe? Here are some signs you might be.

  1. You never bring the people you’re dating home. Your family knows very little about your personal life since you moved out. There isn’t anyone that has come close to meeting them, and if he ever tries to get you to meet his parents, you try to get out of it. You don’t want to get anyone involved, only to have to explain why things haven’t worked out down the road.
  2. Making plans months ahead with someone gives you anxiety. Making travel plans in long advance is never an option, especially when it involves a deposit. The only plans you’re comfortable making are ones that are within the foreseeable future, as in the next week or two. Thinking about banking on anything beyond that time period gives you anxiety.
  3. You avoid labels like the plague. When the person you’re seeing wants to start the DTR talk, it puts you on edge. For some, it’s necessary, but you see it as the beginning of the end. You go into defense mode and accuse the other person of pressuring you, or you lie about what you want and go into ghosting mode.
  4. At a certain point, you start to get distant. Within the first few weeks or even months, you’re fine. But then you start getting that itch that you need to move on. You know the more you spend time together, the harder it will be to go your different ways when it all ends badly. You feel like this is a reasonable solution, but it’s fear.
  5. The thought of relying on someone else scares you. Getting to the point where you move in together is your worst nightmare. Thinking about relying on someone else to play their part seems like too much of a risk. You hate making someone else feel like you need them in general. You try to be independent so no one can let you down, and so far, you’ve succeeded.
  6. Weddings legit freak you out. You do your best to fake happiness when someone you know gets engaged. It’s not that you don’t want them to be happy, you just don’t want to see them go through a divorce later. You never bring a date if you do go; instead, you fly solo and hit the open bar to have fun.
  7. You can’t remember the last time you were in a relationship. Sure, sometimes you have a long single running streak due to not finding someone you’re compatible with. But it also could be a sign that you’ve been hiding from it. Really sit down and think about if you’ve been purposely avoiding taking the plunge.
  8. You end relationships for silly reasons. Everyone has flaws, but you’re the type of person to find them in the first few months and leave him because of it. Loud eater that also doesn’t close their mouth while chewing? Dumped! Person who has terrible music taste? Dumped! No one has a chance because you won’t give him  any.
  9. You’re super ADD when it comes to dating apps and websites. You don’t commit to one person, and you don’t commit to one dating tool, either. You have numerous accounts to widen your net of options. The whole system really makes it harder for you to focus on one person so you don’t!
  10. You prioritize almost everything above being in a relationship. You’ve used every excuse there is out there on why you don’t want anything serious. No one can argue with some of the reasons. But if you’re really just scared then you’re just hiding behind them.
Nicole Weaver is a staff writer for YourTango and regularly contributes to Hollywood, The Bolde, and Proud2BMe. She is a lover of all things entertainment meaning she spends most of her nights in New York binge watching television shows. Follow her on Twitter at @nikkibernice.