Falling out of love can be scary and tough to admit—not just to your partner, but to yourself and everyone around you. When those feelings fade, making excuses and hoping it will pass is easier than acknowledging the problem. Here are some things women tell themselves and others to avoid facing the truth that love has left the building.
1. To Her Partner: “I’m Just Really Busy Right Now”
A woman might suddenly tell their partner they are swamped with work, projects, or social plans to avoid addressing the elephant in the room. While life does get hectic, hiding behind being busy is a go-to excuse to distance herself physically and emotionally and avoid discussing the issue.
2. To Herself: “Maybe It’s Just a Phase, I’m Not Myself Lately”
It’s hard to admit you’re not feeling it anymore and even harder to imagine what comes next. Blaming a “phase” for why things feel off is easier than admitting her feelings have changed. She will tell herself it’s temporary and hope her feelings will return with time, but deep down, she knows it’s more than a passing mood.
3. To Friends: “Things are Comfortable”
Relationships naturally settle into a routine, but if a woman describes her relationship as steady and comfortable, it can be a cover for dissatisfaction. Telling her friends you are “best friends” and life is good is a way of avoiding the truth that the spark has faded.
4. To Her Partner: “I’m Focused on My Career Right Now”
If her job becomes the main excuse for not showing up in the relationship, it can mean she is checked out emotionally. Focusing on work can distract someone from facing the fact that their heart and passion aren’t in it anymore.
5. To Family: “We’ve Got a Lot Going On Right Now”
When quizzed by family about how things are going, she might use this phrase to subtly suggest things aren’t great. She’s deflecting by blaming external stresses—work, life, responsibilities—because something is off in the relationship. It’s her way of making everything sound fine when she knows it’s not really.
6. To Herself: “I’m Just Stressed—That’s Why I’m Distant”
Telling herself she’s stressed helps her avoid confronting that her feelings may have shifted. Maybe she is stressed and thinks that her feelings result from feeling overwhelmed. If she’s constantly using it as an excuse for being emotionally unavailable, it could be more than life’s pressures.
7. To Her Partner: “I Think We Need to Slow Things Down”
It could be a soft exit strategy if she suddenly suggests you need to put the breaks after being together for a while. Slowing things down is a way to create distance and buy time without having an honest and difficult conversation about why she’s pulling away.
8. To Friends: “We’re Just in Different Places Right Now”
When she feels disconnected but doesn’t want to admit it fully, she might excuse her feelings by implying that you are in different phases of life as a couple. It’s an easier explanation than coming clean and telling everyone her feelings have changed.
9. To Herself: “Maybe I’m Just Being Too Picky”
When a woman has doubts, she may try to convince herself that the issue isn’t with the relationship but her high standards. She’ll tell herself she’s expecting too much, hoping that lowering her expectations will bring back the love. She also fears being alone and that maybe she’s just expecting too much.
10. To Her Partner: “I Don’t Know What I Want Anymore”
This is a vague, non-committal excuse that signals her confusion runs deeper. If she suddenly feels unsure about the relationship and its future, her feelings are fading, and she’s struggling to find the words to express it, especially as she knows it will hurt you.
11. To Family: “I Don’t Want to Hurt Him”
When her family starts picking up on her vibe, she might explain her doubts and hesitation to end things by not wanting to hurt her partner. She’s still avoiding her emotions and holding on not necessarily out of hope but because of guilt, not love.
12. To Herself: “If I Wait It Out, the Feelings Will Come Back”
She’s struggling if she is trying to convince herself that the feelings will reignite if she gives it time. It won’t make it real if she avoids confronting the fact that the love might be gone. She’s waiting, hoping for a spark she knows has burned out.
