I Completely Lose Myself In Every Relationship & I Don’t Know How To Stop

When I fall in love, it’s like falling down the rabbit hole straight into Wonderland. I lose all sense of self and my relationship becomes my main priority. I know that’s unhealthy, but I have no idea how to stop.

  1. I can’t help but wear my heart on my sleeve. I try to put a guard up and protect myself but I can’t keep myself from falling. Even further, when I fall, I fall hard. I can’t help but tell the man I’m with exactly how I feel. Even worse, I can’t help but talk about it non-stop with everyone else too. I’m so happy and I just want to share that happiness. I can’t keep my feelings to myself because when I’m in love, I have no filter.
  2. Being a homebody makes it easy to become isolated. I’m not someone who likes to spend all my time with other people. In fact, being with people all the time drains me of my energy. On most nights, I’d rather stay in and chill than go out and party. I’m a relationship girl. For me, the perfect night is cuddling up at home with the boy I love. I like staying home, I like staying in, and that makes it really easy to lose myself in a relationship.
  3. My boyfriend always becomes my best friend. For me, having a romantic relationship built on an amazing friendship is the ideal scenario. My friends are amazing, but they’re just not my soulmates. I’m looking for a deeper connection. I want someone who gets me on a more intimate level than basic friendships allow. I value my friendships, but at the end of the day, what I really want is a life partner.
  4. I want to spend all my free time with him. I like to surround myself with things that make me happy, and being in a new relationship makes me happy. I can’t control my desire to spend every second with the amazing man in my life. To me, what’s new is exciting. I want to explore my relationships to the fullest. After a long, stressful day at work, I just want to have some stress-free one on one time with the boyfriend. I just can’t help it.
  5. I’m looking for a relationship that will last a lifetime. My friends will marry off and that’s exactly what I want too. I’m trying to build a relationship that will someday be a marriage. I take relationships serious and I don’t do casual dating. I’m looking for a guy that I can live with seeing every day for the rest of my life. My friends I can see from time to time, but if I want to plan a future with a guy where we’ll someday live together, I need to know I can handle him on a daily basis.
  6. I really do think that finding love is one of life’s greatest missions. To me, love is everything — not just in the romantic sense, but every sense of the word. Family is a given — full of people I can’t help from love. Real friendship love is hard to find because good friends are hard to find. The hardest kind of love to find is finding the right person — “The One.” I think when it comes to life, that’s the most difficult and most important box to check off, and that’s why I commit to love so seriously.
  7. I’m already antisocial, so it’s hard to manage my limited social time. My friends are amazing, but I’m not one of those people who likes to hang out every single day. The exception is a real relationship. For some reason, I can stand being with a guy I love day after day without getting sick of him. I just can’t say the same for my friends. I love them, but sometimes I just need a break. If I feel that way with a guy, it most likely means that our relationship has run its course.
  8. I miss him terribly when we’re apart. When I really like a guy, I can’t help but miss him whenever I can’t be with him. That honeymoon stage just takes over me. Not only do I want to be with him all the time, I feel his absence when we’re apart. Sure, I miss my friends from time to time, but it’s nothing like this. It’s a yearning I just can’t explain and can’t seem to stop.
  9. I’m searching for someone who understands me completely. I love my friends, but I never feel fully understood. That’s why I feel like loving someone vs. being in love with someone is so different. My friends and I go through ups and downs. Sometimes we spend all our time together and other times our hangouts are few and far between. It’s just not consistent — not like a boyfriend. What I really want is someone who I can’t spend all day with and not get sick of and someone who love and accepts every part of me. I just feel like I’ll only find that kind of love with a boyfriend.
  10. I’m happy on my own, but it’s a new level when I’m in a relationship. A man might not be able to make me happy, but he can definitely overwhelm me with joy. I’m at my happiest when I’m with a man who I know without a doubt truly loves me through and through for exactly the person that I am. At the end of the day, being in a relationship with a guy that I think might be “The One” gives me a joy that I don’t think anything else ever could.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.