Confessions Of A Self-Proclaimed Promiscuous Woman

I like sex — in fact, I love it. Big deal. While people might call me promiscuous and mean it as an insult, I own the title and don’t really give a damn what anyone thinks about it. After all, who I sleep with is my business, so why’s everyone else so worried about it?

  1. What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. Or the kitchen, bathroom, or wherever else we end up. Whether I’ve slept with three people or 30, who the hell cares? I keep my hook-ups low key, and if you’re that worried about who I’m sleeping with, maybe it’s because you’re not sleeping with anyone yourself.
  2. Enjoying casual sex doesn’t mean I don’t value myself. It means I value myself enough to know what I want and allow myself to have it. The idea that girls who have sex with various partners lack self-respect is outrageous and extremely insulting. I don’t hand myself over to every guy who buys me dinner — though not many are buying me dinner beforehand in the first place.
  3. I only sleep with someone if I feel an emotional connection. I just happen to feel that connection with a lot of different people.
  4. I don’t always say yes. In fact, I say no more often than not. From my experience, if the first kiss is terrible, the sex will be 10 times worse. Expert advice: if he doesn’t know what he’s doing with his lips, he’s not going to know what the hell he’s doing with the rest of his body, either.
  5. It’s none of your business how many people I’ve slept with. I won’t tell you my number, but I will tell you to go screw yourself. If you’re so worried about my past, you’re obviously not focused on the girl I am today —and today I’m the girl you won’t be sleeping with. Next!
  6. Making jokes about my sexual history is going to piss me off. I’ll sooner get a Brazilian than listen to you joke about needing to “get checked” after we’ve slept together. Get yourself checked if you must, but check the slut-shaming at the door.
  7. No, I don’t send nudes. Last I checked, sleeping with someone once (twice, if you’re lucky) doesn’t give you 24/7 access to my body. No, I don’t have nudes on my phone — pictures don’t do justice to the real thing. And anyway, who said you were good enough in bed the first time to deserve nudes?
  8. Don’t assume I have “daddy issues.” My dad has been by my side through everything in life, and even if he wasn’t, the presence of a male figure in a girl’s life doesn’t affect what she chooses to do sexually. My dad taught me how to stand up for myself, and he taught me that I should go after what I want — it just so happens that I want to get laid. Sorry not sorry.
  9. I’m not a stereotype. You might know what people say about me, but that doesn’t mean you know me. Every woman has her own story, mine just happens to involve a lot of sex. I see no shame in that. After all, would you still be making assumptions about me or calling me promiscuous if I was a man?
Kristan is a 24-year-old blogger from the cornfields of Terre Haute, Indiana. She spends her days working in accounting, and her nights trying to change the world with her words. You can find her on Instagram and Twitter @kristangible, or read her blog at kristangible.com.
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