Having A High Sex Drive Sounds Fun, But It’s Actually A Nightmare

Sex is a necessity in my life. If I don’t have it, you can bet I’m thinking of all the ways I can get it ASAP. You would think that being a sexually-driven female makes for an exciting, amazing sex life, but I can tell you right now, it’s quite the opposite. Here’s why:

  1. I get labeled a whore. This one really hurts. I’m very “out there” when it comes to expressing my sexuality and sometimes I get judged for it, mostly by other girls. Yeah, I’m flirtatious and yeah, I’ll sleep with you even if I don’t necessarily want to date you. That doesn’t make me any less of a person, it’s just a preference, so back off.
  2. I can’t speak openly about sex. I find that I need to keep my sex life to myself, otherwise, people might get the wrong impression. I find that I’m constantly filtering my thoughts in case I offend someone or accidentally start talking about butt play at the dinner table. I get that there’s a time and a place, but I just wanna be me! Is that okay with everyone?  
  3. I spend a lot of money on vibrators. Being horny and broke is not a fun combo. You know how some girls collect shoes? Well, I collect vibrators. I have a very high sex drive, so I’m going to try anything and everything to satisfy my needs and that often comes with a very large price tag.
  4. It’s hard to satisfy me. I’ve seen it all, and when you’ve experienced as much sex as I have, it takes a lot more than the traditional stuff to get the job done. I find myself needing a very specific type of stimulation to even get off nowadays. This can lead to sex getting boring for me which frustrates my partner, making the experience more difficult than it should be.
  5. I feel like I’m missing out when I’m in a long-term relationship. I get a serious case of FOMO whenever I’m tied down to a single partner. I’ve had A LOT of sex in my life and I can’t help but reference the past when I’m with my current partner. I don’t want to do this. My brain just kinda goes on auto-pilot and I can’t be appreciative of what I have.
  6. Self-pleasure can only take me so far. Masturbation is great, but it’s nothing compared to the real thing. I make sure to take care of myself on those lonely, single nights but it’s never enough. When I’m all finished, I’m left with a kinda lackluster orgasm that is definitely not worth writing home about. Maybe I need to hone my skills more, or maybe I’m addicted to the real thing.
  7. Sex isn’t always available. I’m often left to fend for myself and while this can provide some great aha moments and some windows of self-discovery into my own pleasure — most of the time, I’m bitter that I don’t have a sex partner and this can make my life seem pretty grim. Even if everything else in my life is in order, if I don’t have sex, I feel like I have nothing.
  8. I get stuck in casual relationships. Guys immediately write me off as a casual girl, so it’s rare that I ever get any offers to be someone’s girlfriend. It’s not their fault — I portray myself as a sexy, down for whatever kinda girl and that’s exactly the way they treat me. It would be nice, however, to form a deep connection with someone every once in a while. Although I’ve had a few substantial relationships in my life, I feel like I could have experienced more of them if I wasn’t so sex-hungry.
  9. I go on so many dates, with so many weirdos. A lot of people think I’ll sleep with just about anyone, but that’s simply not true. I’ll sleep with a guy I don’t want to date but who is still a cool, decent human being — I will not, however, sleep with creepers and weirdos. To sift out the guys I DON’T want to sleep with, I need to go on a lot of dates and often have to put up with these loonies in the process.
  10. I hate getting turned down. Although it doesn’t happen super often, it still happens. I’ll come on to guys in an attempt to get the sexy ball rolling, only to find out they already have a girlfriend or just aren’t interested. You would think that after approaching so many guys with my sexual advances, I wouldn’t care about rejection — but oh boy, do I ever. It doesn’t get easier, it only gets harder.
  11. I end up resenting my partner when they don’t get me off. When I’m having sex, I’m not in it for the “fun” — I’m doing it because I have an itch to scratch and if I don’t reach that finish line, I’m not going to be happy and I might even hold it against my partner for not getting me off. You had one job, dude! I don’t like feeling this way, but I can’t help but left feeling disappointed in my partner when they don’t complete the task at hand.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.
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