I Used To Want A Cool, Exciting Boyfriend—Now I Just Want A Guy Who’s Simple And Boring

Average, uncomplicated guys don’t get enough credit. I used to chase guys who seemed quirky or cool, thinking they’d make way more exciting boyfriends. Thankfully, I now know better.

I don’t have the capacity for games anymore. I used to love those unpredictable, intense guys. I wanted to be the one to figure them out and finally break them, if you know what I mean. Obviously that never happened and I wasted a lot of time and energy in the process. Guys like that get bored really easily and it’s not long before they moved on and left me in the dust.

Exciting guys are usually cooler than me and I’d rather be the cool one. I know it sounds petty, but cool guys are kind of obnoxious. I never liked how far ahead of me they were with pretty much everything. I don’t want to date a guy who knew more random facts than me or who has cooler friends or a trendier wardrobe. This is exactly why I’m going for boring guys now—it’s time for me to be the star of the show.

I’m reaching a point in my life where I’d rather feel safe than excited. I don’t need some crazy adventurous romance anymore. I’ve dated enough bad boys (read: toxic a-holes) to last me a lifetime and now it’s time for a steadier, more predictable life. I don’t necessarily think that kind of life is boring, but even if it is, I do think it’s better for me in the long run. I don’t want to look back with regret when I’m 45 and still single because I let go of all the guys who wanted to build something real with me for being “too boring.”

The boring guys are usually nicer, in my experience. Boring guys aren’t trying to get one over on me and they probably won’t tell me one thing and then do the complete opposite. They don’t have giant egos, so there’s no internal battle going on within them or a desire to constantly prove their masculinity—they’re just straight up nice. They sincerely like themselves and therefore sincerely like me, period. That’s the kind of relationship I want.

I don’t need anyone to entertain me. I have plenty of great people, hobbies, and passions in my life—I have all the entertainment I need and I don’t need a boyfriend who’s constantly bringing the drama. I’d actually prefer to have someone who can talk me down when I’m being a little crazy so I don’t go completely off the deep end. There should be at least one sane person in every relationship, right?

The cool guys are usually selfish. You know it’s true. They’re often also narcissistic and totally full of themselves, either blatantly or in an annoyingly passive-aggressive way. Either they’re constantly putting themselves down and fishing for compliments or putting everyone else down to feel better about themselves. Both are defense mechanisms, but why should I deal with that crap? I’d rather have an average guy and a calm life.

All the “cool” guys I’ve met have had addictive personalities. The most fascinating guys I’ve met were total adrenaline junkies. They always had some sort of dependence, whether it was on alcohol, drugs, video games or extreme sports. They led lives that had to be constantly full of excitement or they’d get bored and depressed. I’d rather have a normal guy who takes life for what it is and knows how to chill the hell out.

Average guys are usually more comfortable in their own skin. Bad boys always have something to prove. Either their parents didn’t accept them for who they were or they somehow got the idea that they’re not enough when they were growing up and now they’ve come up with all these crazy ways to seek society’s acceptance. They run away to foreign countries, they buy expensive clothes, or they learn a lot of random facts all so that people will like them. Boring guys already like themselves, so they couldn’t care less. They’re fine just the way they are.

I’m sick of living in a fantasy—I just want to settle down with a decent guy. I have to accept that relationships aren’t meant to feel like storybook romances. Sure, some can feel like it for a while, but those never end up lasting. What I really want is a decent guy who wants to build something real with me. I don’t think that’s too much to ask for and I’m holding out until I find it.

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