There’s something incredibly sexy about having a no-strings-attached relationship with someone, but the truth is that they’re not for everyone. Here’s what you need to remember if you’re thinking about starting one up.
This guy won’t be your friend.
One of the differences between no-strings-attached relationships and friends with benefits is the fact that you two are pretty much entering a sex-only relationship. This guy might not want to catch a movie with you afterward or hear about a falling out you had with another girl. They don’t need to take an emotional interest in you and that’s hard for a lot of women to grasp.
He will be having sex with other women.
Again, no commitment here so he could sleep with you and immediately go and sleep with another girl — and you have to be OK with that. That’s one of the reasons why my own situation fell apart. I thought it’d be something I was cool with, but my jealousy was way worse than expected.
It doesn’t really mean all sex all the time.
Like any situation, you can go through dry spells. Maybe he’s really busy with a work project this month. Since there’s no commitment involved, he’s not a jerk for not making it happen. This guy can literally vanish for a month for any reason he wants and you’ll have no say in the matter. If you’re looking for something a little more stable, this may not be it.
You’ll have no control over when it ends.
Since the two of you are only together for sex, you probably won’t have a ton of deep, personal conversations. But if he’s looking for an actual girlfriend and cuts things off with you, you may feel like you didn’t get the closure that you hoped for. Also, your pride may take a bit of a hit if he wants to exclusively date someone that’s not you. The thought of “what does she have that I don’t?” might cross your mind even if you never really saw him as boyfriend material before.
You always have to be on top of pregnancy prevention and STDs.
You should feel this way about every relationship, but there’s more of a risk factor in a no-strings-attached relationship. For one, you don’t know about the other girls he’s sleeping with and whether or not he’s using a condom. Also, sometimes pregnancy happens even when you think you’re super careful. With some couples who are more established, they see it as a blessing in disguise. But if this guy isn’t committing to you in any way, he’s probably not going to co-parent with you if you choose to go forth with the pregnancy.
He might immediately leave if he hints you’re catching feelings.
It’s hard not to connect with someone you have a no-strings-attached relationship with. Even if you’re not going on dates, you’re still physically close and if he’s open to chatting with you about other things, it’s really hard not to mentally give him the title of “boyfriend.” But guys can tell if their arrangement seems to be in the danger zone. The second he senses you’re into him, he might ghost you.
If your schedules aren’t in sync, the whole thing is a little pointless.
What if you’ve been feeling sick for a week while he’s calling you up every night? Or, what if he works a late shift and you never get the timing just right? This type of relationship involves a lot of planning to make sure you’re both at the same place at the same time and feeling it.
There’s a lot of awkwardness if you want to end it early.
If you start up a no-strings-attached relationship and realize that the whole thing makes you feel uneasy after a week or two, he might get the impression that something’s wrong with him. You should 100% put your own sexual comfort over his feelings in this situation and all situations, but you still may feel a little guilty and let the situation drag on a little longer than it should.
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