I have nothing against intelligent people. In fact, I wish I could be a genius myself. I have plenty of brilliant friends and I even had a three-year relationship with a super smart guy. However, there are a few reasons I could never date someone with a high IQ again.
I’d never feel good enough. Even though I know it’s crazy, I’d never feel like I deserve him. Even if he doesn’t feel or act superior, I’d feel totally inferior. I mean, I’m not a complete moron or anything, but I’m certainly not a scholar. Science shows that intelligent people benefit from being in a relationship with other smart people. I’d always think he’d be better off with someone else, and maybe I’d be right.
He might be happier alone and I’m more of a social creature. Smart people tend to be more socially isolated but they aren’t necessarily as bothered by it as us common folk are. The theory is that they think more about the bigger picture and tend to be “focused on some longer-term objective.” Because of this, a lot of intelligent folks don’t care as much about missing a night out with friends. The smart guy I dated was a loner and it definitely contributed to our breakup. He refused to even spend time with my family because it made him so uncomfortable. That was a definite dealbreaker for me.
He’d probably never risk failure. Smarties are less likely to try something new because they don’t want to risk potentially looking stupid. I imagine they feel a lot of pressure to live up to their label. Because of this, an intelligent guy might not be as adventurous as a dude with average smarts. I want to share new experiences and be spontaneous with my guy once in a while.
He could be sexually inexperienced. Because smart people tend to be more reclusive, they don’t have as much sex. Hey, it’s science! Either they’re more likely to think of the potential consequences of having too many sexual partners or they’re just too busy trying to solve world problems. These are great qualities to have, don’t get me wrong—I wouldn’t want a guy who sleeps around, but I wouldn’t date a virgin either. That’s way too much pressure.
He’d likely win every argument even if he wasn’t actually right. Geniuses are usually always right. If I dated one, he’d probably correct me a lot, which would get annoying fast. I’d be afraid to have any type of discussion with him because I’d constantly be wrong even if I really wasn’t. He wouldn’t understand why I don’t see things the way he does, especially if it’s not logical, and he might not acknowledge my points of view. I’d go crazy and I’d rather save myself the trouble.
He might overanalyze everything. Smart people seem like they have a harder time stopping to enjoy life because they think too much and always look for a deeper meaning. They sometimes draw the wrong conclusions because they think everything is more complicated than it really is. It seems like choices are hard for them because they contemplate all possible scenarios and outcomes. I have a hard enough time figuring out what I want to eat for dinner; I need someone who can make a decision.
I worry that he’d think more than he’d feel. Because they often overthink, brainiacs use logic to explain everything and I feel like they can’t express emotion as easily as people with average intelligence. They sometimes have a hard time opening up and being vulnerable. Intelligent people tend to avoid conflict because of this, but the guy I’m dating needs to be able to talk about our relationship. I want someone who has emotional intelligence. I need to know what a guy’s heart is telling him, not just what his brain is saying.
He probably wouldn’t relate to me. Learning and comprehending everything is easy for brilliant minds, so they have a harder time empathizing with normal people and their struggles, right? Since they’re on a whole different level, I’m pretty sure they can’t identify with the rest of the population. I want someone who understands me.
He might be dissatisfied with life in general. Life is easy for smart people, so they should be happy, right? Not necessarily. It’s all about the term “ignorance is bliss.” Smart people know how much they don’t know, whereas dumber people are more gleefully ignorant. This means brainy guys probably have a hard time feeling fulfilled. I don’t want to date a guy that’s miserable.
He’d either be a workaholic or lazy. Since they like to work towards a goal, geniuses can be workaholics, which doesn’t leave much room for a relationship. Or it goes the opposite way; they don’t know the value of hard work because they’ve never had to make an effort to keep up with everyone else, therefore they’re lazy. There’s no bigger turn off for me than a guy who’s unmotivated. I don’t care if he’s freaking Einstein—I need someone driven.
He might not tolerate my craziness. Because smart guys are often on a different wavelength and can lack social skills, they’re less likely to accept my quirks. If I wake up in the middle of the night from a dream about the end of the world, I want a guy that comforts me and doesn’t tell me I’m being illogical and I need to get over it. I admit that sometimes I can be kind of a lunatic, and I want someone that’s willing to humor me.
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