Ugh, couples can be so annoying sometimes. From PDA to posting endless selfies together to trying to set their single friends up with anyone and everyone, people in relationships can really get on their friends’, families’, and even strangers’ nerves. However, there’s one obnoxious thing couples tend to do that turns out to be good for their relationship: engaging in “we-talk.”
You know the deal: your BFF gets a boyfriend and instead of talking about what she likes or thinks or feels, it’s all like, “Well, we think…” or “OMG, I feel like we…” and it’s like she’s not even an individual anymore. Interestingly enough, a new study out of the University of California Riverside actually says that’s a good thing and can make for a happier relationship.
Going through 30 years of studies of over 5,300 people, researchers compared couples who used “we-talk” and those who didn’t, along with other important factors like relationship length, how happy they were, etc. Those who referred to themselves as part of a unit rather than focusing on themselves as an individual were way happier, it turns out.
As study co-author and University of California graduate student Alexander Karan explained, “‘We-talk’ is an indicator of interdependence and general positivity in romantic relationships. The benefit of analyzing many different couples in a lot of different contexts is that it establishes we-talk isn’t just positively related in one context, but that it indicates positive functioning overall.”
In other words, thinking of yourself as part of a team could boost interdependence and make your relationship stronger. Of course, just because something is good for your relationship with your partner doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good for your relationship with your friends. They’re still likely to get annoyed with you for relinquishing yourself to coupledom, but oh well. They’ll understand eventually (maybe).