Couples Who Are Toxic But Pretend To Be Perfect Always Say These 18 Things

Couples Who Are Toxic But Pretend To Be Perfect Always Say These 18 Things

We’ve all seen those couples on social media who seem to have it all together.

happy couple in their 40s

But sometimes, what looks perfect on the outside is actually pretty messy underneath. Here are some phrases that might signal a relationship isn’t as rosy as it appears. Healthy relationships aren’t about perfection — they’re about genuine connection and growth.

1. “We never fight.”

This might sound ideal, but it’s often a red flag. Healthy couples have disagreements and work through them. If a couple claims they never argue, they might be avoiding important issues or suppressing their true feelings, per Verywell Mind. Real relationships involve navigating conflicts constructively, not pretending they don’t exist.

2. “I can’t live without you.”

While it sounds romantic, this phrase often signals unhealthy dependency. Strong couples support each other while maintaining individual identities. If someone truly feels they can’t survive alone, it might indicate codependency issues that need addressing.

3. “We do everything together.”

Spending time together is great, but having separate interests and friendships is crucial for a healthy relationship. Couples who are joined at the hip might be insecure or controlling. Balance is key — time together and time apart both have value.

4. “We’re soulmates.”

This fairy-tale notion can set unrealistic expectations. It implies everything should be effortless and perfect. Real relationships require work, compromise, and growth. Believing in “soulmates” might lead to complacency or disappointment when normal challenges arise.

5. “I’d be lost without them.”

Similar to “I can’t live without you,” this phrase suggests an unhealthy level of dependence. Strong partners support each other but maintain their own sense of self. If someone feels truly lost without their partner, it might be time to work on individual identity and self-reliance.

6. “We never go to bed angry.”

While it’s good to resolve conflicts, forcing resolutions before sleep can lead to rushed, insincere apologies or unresolved issues. Sometimes, taking time to cool off and revisit a discussion with fresh perspectives is healthier than pushing for immediate resolution.

7. “They’re my better half.”

Portrait of young happy couple in the field

This common phrase might seem sweet, but it implies incompleteness as an individual. Healthy partners see each other as whole people who complement, not complete, each other. It’s important to maintain individual identities within a relationship.

8. “We tell each other everything.”

man and woman walking during hike

While openness is important, having no boundaries can be problematic. Healthy couples respect each other’s privacy and understand that some thoughts or experiences can remain personal. Complete transparency isn’t always necessary or healthy.

9. “We’re always on the same page.”

Happy couple taking selfie in front of Duomo cathedral in Milan, Lombardia - Two tourists having fun on romantic summer vacation in Italy - Holidays and traveling lifestyle concept

Constant agreement isn’t realistic or healthy. Strong couples can disagree respectfully and value each other’s unique perspectives. If a couple never disagrees, one partner might be suppressing their true feelings to keep the peace.

10. “They’re perfect just the way they are.”

couple walking hand in hand on vacation

Nobody’s perfect, and pretending otherwise can prevent growth. Healthy partners acknowledge each other’s flaws and support personal development. Putting a partner on a pedestal can lead to unrealistic expectations and eventual disappointment.

11. “We’re just like we were when we first met.”

happy couple dancing in new home

Relationships evolve over time, and that’s okay. Couples who cling to the intensity of early romance might be avoiding deeper intimacy or refusing to address changes in their relationship. Growth and adaptation are signs of a healthy, maturing partnership.

12. “We never need space from each other.”

couple having drinks at cafe

Everyone needs alone time occasionally. Couples who can’t bear to be apart might have trust issues or codependent tendencies. Healthy relationships involve a balance of togetherness and individual space.

13. “We’re each other’s everything.”

man woman walking through city center

This phrase suggests an unhealthy level of enmeshment. Strong couples maintain outside friendships, interests, and support systems. Relying solely on a partner for all emotional needs puts too much pressure on the relationship.

14. “We finish each other’s sentences.”

man woman friends laughing camping

While it can be cute occasionally, constantly finishing each other’s thoughts might indicate a lack of individuality or a tendency to make assumptions. It’s important to let each person express themselves fully.

15. “Our relationship is effortless.”

happy hipster coupling embracing smiling

Good relationships take work, Psych Central points out. Couples who claim everything is always easy might be avoiding real issues or not investing in their partnership’s growth. Healthy relationships require effort, communication, and sometimes, hard conversations.

16. “We agree on everything.”

couple riding bikes outside

Constant agreement often means someone is compromising too much. Healthy couples can respectfully disagree and find compromises. Having different opinions doesn’t mean the relationship is flawed — it’s how those differences are navigated that matters.

17. “We’re always happy.”

couple cuddling with dog in bed

No one is happy all the time, and pretending otherwise is unrealistic. Healthy couples acknowledge and work through a range of emotions together. Constant positivity can be a mask for deeper issues or emotional suppression.

18. “We never need to work on our relationship.”

Young happy couple spending time on the street.

All relationships require ongoing effort and attention. Couples who think they’re beyond needing to “work” on their partnership might be in denial about existing issues or taking their connection for granted. Healthy couples view their relationship as a continual journey of growth and deepening understanding.

Phoebe Mertens is a writer, speaker, and strategist who has helped dozens of female-founded and led companies reach success in areas such a finance, tech, science, and fashion. Her keen eye for detail and her innovative approach to modern womanhood makes her one of the most sought-out in her industry, and there's nothing she loves more than to see these companies shine.

With an MBA from NYU's Stern School of Business and features in Forbes and Fast Company she Phoebe has proven she knows her stuff. While she doesn't use social media, she does have a private Instagram just to look at pictures of cats.