They’re Crazy About You But Won’t Commit—Here Are 10 Explanations

They’re Crazy About You But Won’t Commit—Here Are 10 Explanations ©iStock/ViewApart

It can be very frustrating and confusing when the person you like isn’t prepared to make things official, especially when the relationship is in a good place and they can’t stop talking about their affections for you. The situation is killing you. You find yourself caught in an endless loop of overthinking because you’re not sure why they’re avoiding moving to the next level. What’s going on here?

  1. The timing is all wrong. Sometimes where you’re at in life just complicates a lot of things, including relationships. They might be planning to move to a different city, take on a new job, or some other major change that would make it really difficult to sustain a relationship in the future. It sucks for you both, but they feel not committing is the most practical decision to make.
  2. Past experiences have made them wary of commitment. Bad breakups can often make people less enthusiastic about jumping into a new relationship. Surely you can relate to how hard it is to promise your heart to a new person after it’s been badly bruised from the last time. Your guy might come around if given a little time. You both need to sit down and talk things out. Find out if what they need is a bit of patience or a lifetime without commitment.
  3. They’re not convinced you’re “The One.” Nobody’s perfect. They might seem that way in the beginning, but as soon as the high begins to fade, you start to notice flaws you’re not so cool with. The person you’re seeing might really like you but they’re holding back commitment because of some attribute they don’t like about you. Maybe they think you’re bad with money, you have a hard time communicating, or even that you laugh too loudly. Whatever the reason, it’s not helping them make up their mind about you.
  4. They still have unresolved feelings for their ex. It’s usually a bad move to go into a new relationship when you’re still hung up on your ex. Even though they really like being with you, they might be holding out for a chance at getting back together with their ex.
  5. They take relationships very seriously. While some people waste no time in making things official once they meet someone they like, others need to take it slow. There’s a chance they don’t want to commit to you because they’re not ready. This doesn’t mean that they want to date anyone else or stop seeing you, just that they don’t want to rush things.
  6. They haven’t made peace with their commitment issues. This is a reason I understand all too well. I’m terrified of making long-term commitments. I don’t ever want to get involved in anything if I don’t know what’s going to happen or how it’ll end. The person you’re seeing might be like that too. As long as they’re putting in the work to get past their fear, there’s no need for alarm bells to go ringing. They just need a little understanding and patience.
  7. They’re afraid their feelings for you won’t be enough. You can have all the love in the world for each other and it still won’t guarantee your relationship will last. This is scary and it’s normal to want to save yourself and the person you’re seeing from the likely heartbreak. Sure, their reluctance to commit hurts, but it will hurt less than a breakup and they know it.
  8. They like the way things are. The comfort zone is called that for a reason. It’s safe and warm and you can try things out without serious consequences looming over you. They don’t want to commit because it leaves them with plenty of wiggle room. They can enjoy the benefits of being in a relationship without the side effects that come with actually being in one.
  9. They want to play the field a while longer. They probably haven’t asked you to be their partner because they don’t want to date anyone at the moment. They’re just not ready to give up on all the people they could hook up with for the sake of being with you. As far as they’re concerned, it’s in their best interest to not put a label on what the two of you have. It sucks, but it’s not a crime.
  10. They’re here for a good time, not a long time. You’re an amazing woman. They like spending time with you and having lots of great sex, but that’s as far as they see the relationship going. They’re really into you at the moment, but when they imagine the future, you’re not in it, so making things official is not in the cards.
A girl preoccupied with living her best life even when it's uncomfortable to do so. She spends a lot of time with her thoughts. She hopes you enjoy reading the results of those thoughts.