These Crazy Myths About Soulmates Are Holding You Back From Love

These Crazy Myths About Soulmates Are Holding You Back From Love ©iStock/BraunS

We’ve all heard tons of myths about soulmates. I’ll admit I believe in them, but not like what we read in romance novels and see in all those happy ever after movies. It’s a little more complicated than that. Still, way too many women are stressing themselves out about finding their soulmate.

I’m here to tell you fact from fiction. Your endless search for the “perfect soulmate” is just keeping you from finding real love. Let go of the whole soulmate mentality and just date people you like. That works much better and you’ll end up finding that soulmate you were looking for to begin with. Here are things we’re getting all wrong about soulmates, as well as the real truth to help you get on the path to actually finding love.

  1. There’s only one. You might want to sit down for this. There’s more than one. Yes, you will have multiple soulmates during your life. Each best friend you have is a soulmate. Honestly, anyone you have a strong connection with that you can’t imagine life without is probably a soulmate. This means family, friends, and those boyfriends who still have a piece of your heart are all soulmates. Each brings something different into your life and turns you into the person you are.
  2. They’re your other half. I hate this one. I’ve watched grown ass women cry their eyes out because they feel they’re only half a person unless they have a man. A soulmate complements you. Look in the mirror. You’re not half a person. I guarantee no one could look at you and say, “Wow, if only she wasn’t single, she’d be a whole human being.”
  3. You’ll agree on everything. Your soulmate isn’t an alien. They’re human. This means you’ll disagree, and you’ll probably even fight. Just accept it now. Besides, someone who agrees with you all the time might sound good in theory, but it’ll get boring fast. I dated that guy. I dumped him pretty quickly, too.
  4. You instantly know. Yes, you do realize you have a strong connection quickly, but it’s not always instant. Some of the happiest couples in the world barely even spoke to each other for years. It wasn’t until a certain moment or situation brought them together that they even realized they had something in common. Sometimes you know, other times you don’t. So don’t base finding love on this rule.
  5. It’s the only real love. You’re going to love multiple people in your life. Believing there’s one person who makes you feel a love so strong that it blows away any love you’ve ever felt and ever will feel is a little unrealistic. Breaking up with a guy because you love him, but it’s not some all-consuming love is crazy. Love grows over time and if it consumes you, it’s just not healthy.
  6. You’re incomplete without yours. You’re already complete. You don’t need someone else to complete you. Unless you feel complete on your own, you won’t feel complete with someone else. You have friends, family, hobbies, a career. You’re pretty damn complete without having a man as your soulmate.
  7. They become your everything. It sounds beautiful to say someone’s your everything. This also implies you put them first 24/7. It means they come before your friends, your family and your own needs. While your partner should be a priority, there’s such as thing as giving too much. A relationship is equal parts give and take. They should be a part of your life, but not your whole life.
  8. You have to be in the right place or you’ll miss them. You’ll go crazy if you wonder if you’re sitting at the right place in the bar or traveling to Europe on the right day. You’ll meet the right person for you. There’s no set place and time where you have to be or you’ll miss out. Live your life and love will happen when it happens.
  9. If you’re unsatisfied, they’re not your soulmate. I hate to tell you, but you won’t be happy all the time, even with your soulmate. They’ll piss you off, make you second guess love and drive you up the wall. They’ll also make you feel happier, beautiful and a believer in love. Dumping someone who makes you feel loved and treats you well just because you’re not happy one day will only leave you single and miserable. Soulmates and love aren’t perfect.
  10. You’ll spend all eternity together. You know for certain you found your soulmate in college. Fast forward 20 years and suddenly you both want completely different things. The relationship ends and you go your separate ways. Guess what – soulmates don’t always last forever. Since soulmates include more than just your partner, you gain and lose soulmates throughout your life. I’m sorry, but it won’t always last. Enjoy them while you have them, but move on when it’s over.

I’m sure some of you won’t believe any of this. I just hope many of you do. Don’t base your search for love on outdated soulmate myths. Live your life to the fullest and enjoy the many soulmates you already have and those waiting for you.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.