The More You Create a Life You Truly Love, The Less You Need a Guy In It

The More You Create a Life You Truly Love, The Less You Need a Guy In It ©iStock/BraunS

Finding someone to spend your life with is one of those things a lot of people want more than anything, but it’s also something that we don’t have much control over. Meeting the right person isn’t easy, and that’s why it’s so important to avoid giving it the power to make or break your happiness. Instead, focus on the things you do have control over and build a life that makes you happy in every way. That way, whether you have a guy around or not won’t matter in the slightest.

  1. You don’t have to answer to anyone else. One thing that a lot of people take for granted when they’re single is having the freedom to do whatever they want. You never have to justify your decisions or take someone else’s feelings into consideration. That means you don’t have to have a discussion about every little thing — you can just live your life however you see fit.
  2. You never have to compromise. Relationships are full of compromise. You won’t always get to use your vacation days exactly how you want, you won’t be able to eat sushi for dinner as much as you’d like, and you might have to watch Star Wars when you’d rather watch the latest Ryan Gosling movie. Those might seem like small sacrifices — and in the grand scheme of things they are — but admit it, you’re a lot happier when you don’t have to make them.
  3. You aren’t putting anything on hold. Instead of waiting for a guy to have the money to go on a trip to Thailand, you can save up and go on your own time. You also won’t have that mindset where you have to wait until you’re in a solid relationship to be able to buy your own place — you’ll figure out a way to do it on your own if that’s what you want. Nothing is reliant on your relationship status, so you’re free to direct your life in whatever way is best for you.
  4. You can be your own boyfriend. Who says you have to have a guy in your life to go out to dinner or get flowers? You can take yourself on dates whenever you want, and there’s nothing stopping you from filling your home with every flower you’ve ever wanted. Why wait around for a boyfriend to do things for you when you can do them all for yourself?
  5. You’ll have more time and energy for your platonic relationships. Having a boyfriend tends to take up a lot of time. That’s the point, right? To always have someone to hang out with? When you’re single, you make more of an effort to cultivate friendships that will last and put yourself out there to meet new people. If you have a solid group of friends and acquaintances, not only will you have less time to worry about dating, but you’ll also stop craving the things a boyfriend has to offer.
  6. Your career will get the attention it deserves. Instead of leaving work promptly at 5:00 every day because you can’t wait to spend time with the guy in your life, you’ll be free to put in extra time and prove yourself to your boss. You’ll also have more energy to put into doing the goals you’ve always wanted to do, like starting your own business or going back to school. When you have your dream job, finding a guy and settling down might not seem as imperative as it would have before.
  7. Independence feels pretty awesome. Even if you ultimately do want to find love (and there’s nothing wrong with that), you have to admit you’re pretty proud of yourself for creating such an amazing life for yourself — and doing it all on your own. You’re a self-sufficient, strong, independent woman and that’s a huge accomplishment: one that your relationship status can never take away from you.
  8. You can want a relationship without needing one. Since you’re 100 percent willing and able to take care of yourself, you have the freedom to look for love on your own terms. You don’t need a guy to take care of you, so you’re a lot less likely to settle for the first one that will have you. That means you’ll be able to date without that air of desperation guys can sense a mile away, and it will be a hell of a lot more fun, too.
  9. You’ll have more to offer. You’re a complete person with a life all your own, and that inevitably makes you a lot more interesting not only to guys, but to anyone you meet. You’ll meet more people, do more new things and have more to offer the world because you’re a happy, well-rounded person. You didn’t need a guy to get this far, and you don’t need one going forward.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to, contributes regularly to, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.