How To Create Space For Love In Your Crowded Life

How To Create Space For Love In Your Crowded Life ©iStock/filadendron

Work, friends, family, exercise, hobbies, maybe a yearly vacation or at least a staycation involving Netflix… Your life is incredibly full, and all you’re missing is a boyfriend, yet you often feel you have zero time to date. It doesn’t have to be this way. Here’s how to create space for love in your already crowded life:

  1. Make it a habit. You’re in the habit of heading to work and killing it, sweating at the gym, eating your vegetables. You can make dating a habit, too. That will mean different things for different people – maybe you want to go on one date a week.
  2. Simplify. Anything in life can be made a million times easier. Quit Tinder if you want and only use an online dating site that you’re comfortable with (or only use Tinder if it works for you). Pick one day a week to go online so you’re not a 24/7 dating machine, which will only stress you out and upset you.
  3. Remember what it’s like to be in love. This can be a tricky path to travel down if you’ve experienced heartbreak (and who hasn’t?). It’s still pretty effective because it can be easy to get down on love and think that the single life is where it’s at. But having someone who cares about you, who supports you, and who you can make out with on a regular basis is pretty awesome.
  4. Do it for Future You. Right now you have zero cares in the world except whatever show you’re currently bingeing, but that won’t always the case. Eventually – maybe tomorrow, maybe in a month, maybe in a year – you’ll want someone standing beside you, sharing your life with you. It’s smart to put the effort in now so you can reap the lovey-dovey benefits later.
  5. Choose weeknights or weekends. Scheduling first dates can be the most difficult part of all. If you don’t have a ton of time to meet new people, decide whether you want to reserve Friday nights for dates or if you’d rather only go out during the week and save your weekends for yourself. You’ll never play texting tag trying to pick a free time ever again.
  6. Kill the negativity. If you start wondering why you’re even bothering because you could be using your time for better things (like your job or your BFFs), stop right there. That kind of negative thinking is only going to make things worse.
  7. Change your strategy. Maybe you have no issues making the first move or you let guys come to you. Try switching up your strategy. Ask more people out if you never do, or let them do the asking. Sometimes all you need is a change.
  8. Surprise yourself. You’re in charge of your schedule and life, and it’s hard to give up that sense of power when you date someone new, whether for a few dates or a few months. Try letting the guy choose the bar/movie/date activity. You’ll surprise yourself with how much better it feels to not control everything all the time.
  9. Keep going. Giving up is tempting, but it’ll never get you what you’re looking for. As long as you continue the search, no matter how busy you get, you’ll succeed.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.