Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ll know that cryptocurrencies are big news. Everyone seems to be getting in on the action. The problem is when cryptocurrency talk seeps into Tinder, resulting in the terrible new dating trend called crytpomancing.
What is cryptomancing? The term was coined by The Guardian, and it basically refers to when your dating app matches start talking about cryptocurrencies or they want to give you financial advice. And yes, this is a real thing.
Apparently, some people think this is romantic. The cryptomancer—”crypto” for cryptocurrency and “mancer” for romancer—is trying to thrill you with cryptocurrency talk. Let’s be real: there’s nothing sexy about talking about Bitcoin or money in general. When did you last feel turned on by talking about the economy on a first date or at a party? Exactly—probably never.
It tends to happen fast. The cryptomancer doesn’t waste his or her time. They tend to send you one or two general messages before launching into cryptocurrency talk. Clearly, cryptomancers aren’t really interested in romance and if they are, they could do with some dating app tips.
Some people literally open the conversation with this crap. Sometimes, cryptomancers launch into cryptocurrency talk in their very first message to you! It’s so misleading because you might’ve swiped right on someone super hot, only to end up being overwhelmed with their cryptocurrency agenda. At first, you were probably relieved not to receive a d*ck pic straight away. Meanwhile, now you’re stuck with someone who wants to talk about cryptocurrency, of all things.
Let’s not go there with the financial talk. Could we just not talk about money? It’s bad enough when people boast about their income or try to educate you about your finances during the early stages of dating. It’s even worse when you don’t know the person who’s doing that. Creepy!
Sadly, this does apparently work sometimes. Mashable’s UK lifestyle correspondent, Rachel Thompson, conducted an experiment where she tried out some cryptocurrency pickup lines on Tinder. It seemed to work really well. One of her lines was “I wanna be your monero” which caused a guy to take the bait. He replied that she could interrogate his private digital protocols. In case you’re wondering, one of her most popular lines was “Is that Blockchain or are you pleased to see me?” What does all of this even mean?!
Pickup lines are always bad. Seriously, no matter what you’re talking about, pickup lines come across as cheesy and a total turnoff. Instead of impressing someone, people who use pickup lines look like they don’t have anything real to say. They’re hiding behind a mask, hoping to impress people with a load of nonsense.
People who do this clearly have nothing else to talk about. Talking about money is like talking about the weather. It feels like people resort to such subjects when they have nothing else to say. If someone can’t give you a decent opening line on a dating app and they’re using general talk instead, they’re not making a real effort. Next!
They also want to show off. People who invest in cryptocurrency and want to talk about it on dating apps out of all places often seem like they want to show off about their money knowledge. They’re so damn full of themselves. Ugh. Dating apps are already full of people who are trying too hard to be seen as amazing, like people who post half-naked pics of themselves or brag about their gym habits. Now, people are bragging about the size of their digital wallets. Where will it end?
It’s a type of mansplaining. It might also seem like mansplaining if someone’s trying so hard to inform you about cryptocurrency (and yes, it’s mostly dudes that are guilty of this crap). It’s like if someone you’re chatting to had to phone you and give you real estate advice. Who the hell asked for it? Who wants to date a know-it-all?
You’re not on dating apps for that! Social media should be used for connecting with your followers. Likewise, dating apps should be about meeting new people who might be great to date. When people start using those sites for things that are inappropriate, like asking you personal questions about your cryptocurrency behavior, things become awkward. Using a dating app for Bitcoin investments is lame—we’re not on the app for that! We’re also not on there to make business connections, get free rides, or to practice a new language. Take it elsewhere, people!
Of course, if you’re into cryptocurrency, this might be for you. If you and your Tinder match have cryptocurrency in common, that can be a great way to find common ground and have things to talk about. But the thing is not to go about things as a cryptomancer would, like by dropping money-related pickup lines into a match’s inbox. It’s better to ask about the person’s interests, and if they list cryptocurrency as one, then you can talk about it together and share your experiences. This feels like a more genuine way to connect. After all, it’s about connecting, not crypto-creeping people out.
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