Breakups are tough on us all, but they give you the opportunity to date the most awesome, fun, loving person on the planet: YOU. Now that you’ve ditched that a-hole ex who broke your heart, you’re free to do romance the right way, no partner necessary. Here’s how to date yourself.
Take a new class, discover a new hobby, and pursue your passions. Having a partner usually means having less time to do the things you love to do. Not anymore! Try that swing dancing class at the gym, join a sushi rolling masterclass, become a comedic wizard at a stand-up comedy joint. Check out your local colleges, gyms, or community centers for a variety of fun classes without having to ask for anyone’s permission or approval.
Eat at all the delicious restaurants you’ve been meaning to hit up for ages. The best thing about dating yourself is how easy it is to choose a place to eat. Thai for lunch, brunch at your favorite bagel shop, pizza for dinner? ALL great choices. Don’t be afraid to fly solo at your favorite cafe or regular dinner joint. Bring a book, order food, sit down and enjoy your meal in peace. Plus, you never have to worry about who gets the last piece of cake or those delicious leftovers!
Get in the best shape of your life. We tend to get lazy in relationships because we’re comfortable. This isn’t the worst thing in the world, but now you have no excuse not to get your butt back in gear. You’ve got your gym pass, access to a thousand workout apps, those running shoes and cute workout clothes—put them to use! Channel any feelings of sadness and frustration towards your ex into your workouts. You’ll feel so much better for it.
Find your zen. Take time to slow down and heal yourself mentally. Relax, meditate, try a yoga class or a meditation app to guide you to emotional bliss. Let all those negative feelings go and wait for that spiritual, cathartic release. When dating yourself, you have time to move on from bad memories of the past and can refocus your mind towards a positive future.
Reconnect with all the friends you neglected for your ex. We’ve all been guilty of pushing friends aside when in a relationship. We say we won’t do it but it happens, and while it’s not the end of the world, you now have some damage control to do. Invite a girlfriend to join you on a night out. Don’t make the night about your ex or meeting new men, make it a girls’ night and really focus on your friend. What’s going on in her life? You’ll realize how much you’ve been missing your BFFs and feel terrible for ever letting them down.
Venture out on a solo trip to a city you’ve always wanted to see. Be bold and skip the staycation. Take a weekend away to somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. Get yourself out of town and breathe in the sights of somewhere new and exciting. You’ll feel rejuvenated after staying solo in a hotel, eating anything you desire, and shopping or dancing until you’re ready to drop. Remember the only one you have to woo is you!
Write it all down. Dating yourself is a great way to get insight into your relationship history and desires for the future. Delve into your past and figure out where and why things went wrong with the partners in your past. Were there red flags you ignored? Did you sell a guy short because there weren’t fireworks on the first date and maybe miss out on what could’ve been an amazing relationship? Set yourself some guidelines and rules for the future and learn what YOU need and want from a relationship to make it work.
Bring out your competitive side. Set daily challenges to better yourself at your favorite or least favorite (one-legged squats, anyone?) activities. Whether it’s learning a new language, tacking on another mile to your daily run, or eating out less, now is the time to challenge and better yourself. After all, not only will you be a kickass woman all on your own, it’ll make you an even better girlfriend when you do find someone worthy of dating.
Leave yourself love notes. You can set a reminder on your phone, leave Post-Its by your mirror, or a mom-like napkin note in your packed lunch, but remind yourself regularly that you’re loved. There are so many people in your life that care for you and need you but most importantly, remember to love yourself!
Acknowledge your awesomeness. Look at yourself in the mirror. Study your face, learn the curves of your body. Smile at yourself. Wink at yourself. Laugh at yourself. Acknowledge it daily—YOU are awesome. Aren’t you lucky to have found yourself?!
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