When You Finally Date A Guy Who Wants Something Serious, Everything Changes

Thanks to online dating apps and social media, it’s not exactly hard to find a date if you’re looking for one. The hard part is finding a guy who’s genuinely looking for something long term instead of a one-night stand or a casual fling. That’s why, when you finally stumble upon a guy who wants something serious, it can be a little bit surreal.

  1. You don’t have to guess what he’s thinking. If he wants something serious, he’s not shy about admitting it. Guys who are still in casual mode will purposely not contact you for days because they need to keep you at arm’s length, and you’ll never really be sure where you stand with them. A serious guy makes sure you know he’s interested and there are no guessing games involved.
  2. You can text him anytime for no reason at all. You don’t have to wait for him to text you first, have a solid reason to contact him or obsessively check your phone for his response. It’s been long enough and you’re comfortable enough to throw all texting rules out the window. Now you’ll double text him first in the middle of the day and you’ll probably get a prompt response too. You’re living the dream.
  3. You start to let yourself think about the future. Maybe you actually will have a date to your best friend’s wedding in three months after all. And who knows, if it keeps going this well, it might not be long before you’re planning a wedding of your own. At least he’s serious enough that you don’t feel like a crazy person for even thinking it’s a possibility.
  4. You stop looking for a backup plan. Even if you’re dating someone, that doesn’t mean you’ve deleted your Tinder profile and told all your friends you’re no longer on the market. But if things are progressing with a guy and you see a real future, you’ll find yourself swiping right less and less, because there’s really no one you want to spend time with other than him.
  5. He tries to make plans in advance. In fact, he’s probably making plans for the next time he’ll see you while he’s still with you. If he knows a movie you want to see is coming out next week, he’ll ask if you want to go. If he wants you to come to his friend’s birthday dinner, he’ll make sure to ask you in advance so you’ll be able to come. Unlike the casual dating guy who probably asks you on Friday afternoon what you’re doing that weekend, the serious guy makes sure to schedule time with you before anyone else beats him to it.
  6. He makes you a priority. Guys who aren’t looking for anything serious tend to put dating low on their list of priorities behind their job, spending time with friends and pursuing their own interests. Dating is more of an afterthought for those guys, but if he’s serious about you, he’ll make time for you no matter how busy he happens to be. And not because he has to– because he wants to.
  7. You don’t always have to be doing something to have fun with him. Casually dating someone means you probably always have a plan of what you’re going to do every time you see each other (even if that happens to be simply having a lot of sex). But when you’re with a guy who wants something serious, you can just watch TV together or sit in the park and read. You’re going to be together awhile, so you can’t use up all your good date ideas in the first few months.
  8. You stop overanalyzing every little thing. Obsessing over everything he says and does is a thing of the past once you’re confident he’s not playing you. Now you’re free to focus your energy on more important things like what to get your sister for her birthday and deciding whether you want to do a spin or a Pilates class tomorrow night.
  9. You’re more willing to open up. It’s not a bad idea to hold back a little bit when you first start dating someone new. You don’t want to be in a situation where you’re in way deeper than he is and you get your heart broken unnecessarily. But if the guy you’re seeing is clear that he wants something more, you’ll be a lot more likely to give him a real chance. You won’t get anywhere unless you take some risks, after all, and he seems like he’s worth the risk.
  10. You start to believe in love again. It’s easy to get jaded when you go on date after date with guys who just want to have a couple drinks, fool around and then never speak to each other again. But finding a guy who wants more than that reminds you that awesome, dateable guys do exist and even if this one doesn’t go the distance, there’s still hope that you’ll find the one that will.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.