There was a time in college when I was super broke. Like, broker than broke. This was also around the time when Seeking Arrangement, the online sugar daddy dating site, inched into the limelight. Broke and curious, my BFF and I checked it out and were kinda weirded out by it. Fast forward four years later; still broke, still curious, but a little wiser. What’s the harm in getting paid to date? I’m all about it these days.
I may as well be compensated. I’ve been on some super crappy dates. You know, the kinds of dates when you’re thinking about all the times you took being alone for granted. Talk about wasted time. Not saying I’d hate all my SA dates but at least if I did, the crappiness would be evened out with compensation. I don’t see anything wrong with being paid for my time, which is valuable and limited.
My bank account is crying. In what universe can you be paid to do something so easy? Actually, forget easy—let’s talk about convenience. Dating is something I’m going to do anyway. It’s something that takes time and effort. Usually, when you’re exerting time and effort, you get friggin’ paid for it. I’m not doing my bank account any favors with free labor, so I’m actually being smart here.
It’s not prostitution. And it isn’t an escort service. Full disclosure—in user profiles, either party can mention if they’re willing/looking for sexual arrangements, but it’s not common. Most profiles I found were of men who were looking for the opposite, so in my experience, I’m being paid for companionship. Not a bad deal.
I’m not talented enough for stripping. I’ve heard some people compare Seeking Arrangement to stripping in that it’s trashy/shameless/slutty/etc. Not only is that judgmental AF, but people need to give strippers credit—that job is HARD. I’m not talented enough for that line of work. There are women like Cardi B who can do the damn thing. Then there are women like me. I’d have to pay men to watch me strip. I don’t have the guts for stripping. I’m a conversationalist. Getting paid to date literally gets me stripper income without embarrassing myself.
It’s an honest setup. Never have I experienced such honesty with dating. You go through profiles that spell out what the dude is looking for, all without even having to talk to the guy. Mind games be damned! It’s all stuff that you’d want to know anyway or even figure out while stalking—his age, net worth (don’t act like what a guy makes isn’t important to you) and expectations. Name another situation when you know without a shadow of a doubt what a guy wants from you from the beginning. I’ll wait.
I’m not in a relationship zone right now. Men my age piss me off, so right now I’m not looking for the love of my life but I still want to date. Again, I go back to compensation. I want to date, I want different experiences—I just don’t want to waste my time. Most SA guys are the same. They don’t want long-term relationships. They want companionship when it’s convenient with someone who understands and appreciates the value of time.
It’s more than money. Say I’m not in this for the money. That’s fine because there are men looking for traveling companions. Almost every 20-something woman wants to travel more. I seriously had a man ask if I could accompany him on his business trip to Australia. Flights to Australia cost an arm, leg, and a kidney. Not cheap, amigas. This man wanted to take me for free. FOR FREE. Take a once in a lifetime trip? Check. Be with a hot man? Check. Not have to do a damn thing except be myself? Check. Honestly, I got cold feet and didn’t go, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still kicking myself in the butt for it.
There are worse things I could do. I know people who have sold drugs/prescription pills/their body for extra cash. In my mind, getting paid to date is just as easy. I’d rather be judged for doing something seemingly morally corrupt than something illegal.
From a moral standpoint, it should be the men who are questioned. I don’t understand why women are shamed in these kinds of exchanges. It’s the man who’s paying someone to spend time with him. Think on that. What’s up with this dude that he has to pay someone to be in his life? I can think of a few. He might be married and knows it’s easier to pay a woman who will guarantee discretion than take a mistress who could be an emotional wreck. He may be an emotionally stunted dude who can’t connect romantically. Maybe he’s just a jerk who doesn’t try to make meaningful relationships work despite his busy schedule. I’m not saying all men who pay for a woman’s time have issues, but the reality is that a lot do. They’re paying to fix a problem. Women who engage in this exchange are a solution.
The payoff can be insane. There are stories about women who’ve paid off their student loans by getting a sugar daddy. How crazy is that? Think about that for a second. If someone told you that by agreeing to a dating arrangement sans sexual favors, you can pay off your debt, wouldn’t you take it? I sure would. Next to a crippling 30-year debt, being paid to date seems like small potatoes.
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