If I Have To Date One More Douchebag, I’m Going To Scream

I’ve gone out with my fair share of jerks before, and at this point, I’m so over it. I can deal with just not being right for a particular guy, but this is why I’m going to lose my mind if one more dude decides to mess with my head while we’re in a relationship:

  1. I’m done with feeling insecure in a relationship. Relationships are supposed to make me feel good, not anxious. I want to know that a guy is really into me and that he’s committed. I can’t deal with feeling like crap because he’s so busy checking out other women or comparing them to me. I don’t need my confidence to be drained when I’m with someone who’s supposed to boost it.
  2. I have to be with someone I can trust. So many guys I’ve dated have betrayed me and given me trust issues. There’s nothing better than feeling that I’ve got a good guy who is totally open, honest, and trustworthy so I don’t have to feel I’ve got to watch my back all the time. I’m going to lose my mind if I get lied to or cheated on one more time.
  3. I don’t want to turn into a psycho. Nothing turns me more into a crazy person than when a jerk treats me badly or makes me question his fidelity. I don’t want to allow any relationship to turn me into a sinister version of myself, because then I look back on what happened and wish I’d just stayed single.
  4. Too many toxic guys have taken advantage of my kindness. Those guys who seem charming but then try to manipulate me are the bane of my existence. I try to be a good girlfriend, but when someone takes advantage of that, I can’t help but want to swear off men forever.
  5. I won’t compete with a phone for attention. I hate it when guys snub me with their phones. How many times have I sat in a restaurant with a guy I’m dating only to feel like I don’t matter to him because he’s so busy with his phone? This is such a classic sign of douchebag behavior, and I’m done dating guys who do it.
  6. I don’t want mixed messages. I’m not a freaking FBI investigator, and I don’t want to feel like I’ve got to crack the code of what my boyfriend is really trying to say. I refuse to struggle to try to put his actions and words together and figure out why they don’t match. It’s too much work.
  7. I don’t want to keep the relationship a secret. Why do so many guys I date try to keep our relationship from everyone they know? It’s so screwed up. I want the guy to introduce me as his GF and be proud of me. I feel like that’s not asking too much, but you’d never know that based on how some of these dudes behave.
  8. I can’t support him whole-heartedly and get nothing in return. Douchebags tend to be all about themselves. They want support, but then they don’t give it in return. It’s such garbage and a total waste of my resources and energy.
  9. I can’t cope with the fake gentlemen. Too many guys out there pretend to be Prince Charming when they’re really villains. I respect guys who are upfront about being jerks  much more than those who pretend not to be and then break my heart later.
  10. I can deal with lies, but what comes afterward destroys me. Being lied to in the past was bad enough, but the fallout is way worse. I end up feeling like every guy will eventually do this to me, like I can’t trust anyone no matter what they tell me. It sucks. I’m worthy of respect and love, and I won’t put up with anything less.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.