If Your Date Says Any Of These Things, Bail!

If Your Date Says Any Of These Things, Bail! ©iStock/portishead1

When you’re out on a date, you really need to listen to what he’s saying. More often than not, the most dangerous red flags can only be picked up when you hear him talk about certain subjects. If you ever hear any of these lines or phrases come from your date’s mouth, it’s a surefire sign that you need to get out now.

  1. “I’m not racist/sexist, but…” Nothing good has ever come out of someone’s mouth when they begin a sentence like this. Some might even go so far as to say that a person who needs to explain themselves away before they say something usually is exactly what they deny being.
  2. “Everything is a test with me. I’m always testing people.” When a guy flat-out says that he’s testing you, there’s an ulterior motive behind him saying that. Typically, it’s something he’s saying to try to get you to be manipulated. He’s basically trying to see whether you feel the urge to “pass” his test, and he’s trying to see how far he can push the envelope before you get ticked. It also can be a major indicator of insecurity or paranoid behavior. Either way, you shouldn’t stick around to see what he has in store for you.
  3. “You know, you’d look a lot hotter if you…” Much like an earlier quote, this is often the first indicator that a guy is going to be controlling. He’s already trying to get you to change your looks to suit his preferences. Who’d want to date such a shallow jerk, anyway?
  4. “I got so much vagina when I…” This is how you can tell that a guy is a player. Only a player would actually feel the need to brag about his conquests to a girl on a date with him. The worst part about this is that he’s also being very disrespectful while doing it. This might be a good cue to actually get up from the table and leave.
  5. “I’m not looking for anything serious.” If he says this, he’s just looking to get laid and has already made that decision. If you’re looking for more, it’s time to just bail. You don’t need to waste your time being nice, either.
  6. “Yeah, I scoped you out on Facebook a bit. That photo you posted had terrible lighting and made you look really different.” This is a sign that a guy has a need to always be right, and it’s also a sign that he feels the need to subtly put you down in order for him to feel good. In other words, this is a sign that you might be dealing with a potential abuser.
  7. “All my exes were horrible bitches.” A person who is quick to play victim is typically the cause of most of his troubles. Besides, you know that if you date him, he’s going to be badmouthing you, too.
  8. “Ugh, you like anime? What’s wrong with you?” Anyone who is willing to take cheap shots at things you like isn’t someone you want to date. That’s technically verbal abuse, and you can bet that he would make you feel like crap every time you indulge in your hobbies if you decided to date him.
  9. “I only date hot chicks.” Good to know he finds you hot. Good to know he’s also a shallow twat who would dump you if you didn’t look too hot anymore.
  10. “Ugh, do you have to have so many guy friends?” Any guy who’s trying to isolate you from your friends is not someone that you should be around. This is often the first sign that you’re dealing with an abusive, controlling personality.
  11. “God wouldn’t want women working or having abortions. If we date, you have to want to be a housewife.” While there’s nothing wrong with religion, there is something wrong with using religion as an excuse to control others – and phrases like these smack of it.
  12. “DTF?” This is a good indicator that he’s a player.
  13. “I need to borrow some cash…” If a guy is so cheap that he needs to hit up a girl he just met for money, he’s not boyfriend material. In fact, he’s probably just a mooch.
  14. “You’re not like all the other girls.” Whenever someone says this, it’s a sign that he’s probably trying to flatter you or that he’s put you up on a pedestal. That might be why it’s a classic cringe phrase.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.