I Dated A Guy With A Foot Fetish And It Was Weird

I like to keep an open mind when it comes to sex, so when a guy I started dating told me he had a big foot fetish, I thought, “What’s the harm?” I expected it to be fun, but it quickly got a little too weird for me.

  1. It seemed quite vanilla at first. There are some pretty crazy fetishes out there and many of them can be genuinely disturbing, but I didn’t think a foot fetish sounded so bad. It felt like it would be pretty tame and safe and I was actually kind of curious to see what it was all about. Why was this guy so into such a random part of the body?
  2. I was excited to date a dude who wasn’t obsessed with boobs or butts. We’re always hearing about how guys are either boob or butt men, so this guy’s idea that feet were erotic was really a breath of fresh air! I mean, I love shoes and the idea of him loving my feet sounded kind of sexy, especially in comparison to the “standard” erogenous zones. While I don’t get turned on by feet, I didn’t mind that he did… at least at first.
  3. He was surprised that I was cool with it. He said other women he’d opened up to about his fetish didn’t like the idea of it, so he couldn’t believe I was OK with it. I thought that sounded a little crazy. I mean, how bad can a foot fetish be, right? Turns out, it can get really weird really quickly.
  4. I expected to feel like a goddess. At first, he made me feel like one by saying he wanted to get down on his knees and worship my feet. However, once I got to know him and how deeply his foot fetish ran, I started to feel like he just wanted to do sexy things to satisfy his foot craving. That’s all he talked about. It became really annoying, especially since he clearly wasn’t looking for anything serious—he just wanted to do erotic things with my feet, not even with the rest of my body! WTF?
  5. Hello, my eyes are up here! He was always talking about my feet, wanting me to wear open-toed shoes and gazing at my feet during conversation. He’d send me pictures of beautiful feet and ask me to dress mine up in a certain way, like by wearing different nail polish colors. I should’ve just walked on my hands to give him a better view of my feet because he was hardly making any eye contact with me.
  6. Sexting became the biggest bore fest. It’s sexy to hear about fetishes, but not every damn day! When we’d sext, it was always about his foot fetish or he’d ask me for pictures of my feet. I laughed the first time, a bit relieved a guy wasn’t asking to see something more private, but it also felt a little odd. Dude, they’re just feet!
  7. I started to feel like I didn’t matter. I learned something important here: no matter what body part a guy is crazy about, if that’s all he’s talking about, you’ll start to feel like he’s not with you for stimulating conversation or because of your dazzling personality. You’ll feel used and objectified, and that’s how I felt. This guy was only interested in getting his sexual kicks on my time.
  8. His interest became really weird. I’m all for trying new things in the bedroom, so when this guy offered to give me a foot massage, I was game. Then he wanted to paint my toenails and it felt a little strange. Instead of feeling sexy with this guy, I felt like we were buddies having a pajama party or going for pedicures together. Ugh, talk about a mood killer.
  9. He was just after his own pleasure. The foot massage wasn’t about me. It was all about his own pleasure because he loved touching and rubbing feet so much. Then he suggested I give him a footjob, which is basically rubbing his penis with my feet. I couldn’t see how that was going to pleasure me and it really didn’t appeal to me at all.
  10. Feet can be gross. I know feet can be really sexy—I’ve felt sexy when looking at my feet in a gorgeous pair of stilettos once or twice —but there’s a limit to how sexy feet can be. They’re like butts in that way. I might perve over a guy’s butt but I certainly don’t want to get too up close and personal with it. This foot fetish guy wanted to do lots of things to my feet that just seemed so gross to me, like licking them and sucking my toes. My feet are clean and everything, but still. I don’t want anyone to get too close to them.
  11. In the end, we had different sexual needs. Clearly, this guy and I had totally different sexual needs and ideas of what was erotic. I’m not sexually repressed by any means, but I just couldn’t continue dating him because the more we hung out, the more his fetish intensified until it became really uncomfortable for me. Having the same sexual needs is so important when dating someone. We were just on totally different pages and I had a literal foot out the door, ready to bolt. It was time to walk away.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.