I Dated Him Then Realized His Best Friend Was A Better Match For Me—Awkward!

I met a guy through a friend and thought he was cool. OK, so we weren’t exactly a great match and I knew it immediately, but I thought we had enough chemistry to give things a go. Then Mr. Wrong introduced me to my dream guy.

  1. The wrong guy was a leap out of my comfort zone. I was having no luck trying to find guys to date and I realized my “type” was overrated, so I was keen to branch out a bit. The guy my friend set me up with was an outdoorsy type of guy who loved adventure sports. That’s not my usual cup of tea, but I was willing to go on a date with him and dare to date out of my box.
  2. I guess I was settling. It’s sad but true—I’d gotten it into my head that I wouldn’t find the spark with another guy again. (Drama, much?) I thought this guy was great in theory and if I just gave myself a chance, maybe I could grow to have feelings for him. When we kissed, I felt zero chemistry but I tried to tell myself that there was more to a relationship than a spark and I almost believed it—almost.
  3. I stopped believing in my perfect guy. I’d been hurt a lot by guys in the past and didn’t want to keep torturing myself with weird ideas of meeting a guy who was perfect for me. However, as is often the case, life decided to prove me wrong.
  4. I met my boyfriend’s friends. One day he invited me out with him and his friends. They were going to see a live band and wanted me to go along. That was pretty cool—I was excited to meet his friends and knew it was an important dating milestone. I was expecting to have fun with them and enjoy a light evening. I certainly wasn’t expecting to meet the hottest guy I’d ever laid eyes on. No, I don’t mean the guy I was dating up until that point—I mean one of his friends. He was definitely more my physical type than my boyfriend, but I needed more than that to be interested.
  5. Careful what you wish for… For some weird reason, throughout the night I ended up speaking to his friend quite a bit. He was also a writer and liked a lot of the same things I did. We really hit it off and I found myself trying not to look like I was having such a great time with him because I was there with my boyfriend, who was his good friend! I didn’t want to look like I was unfaithful or anything.
  6. I couldn’t seem to connect with the guy I was dating. He didn’t have much to say to me that night, which was why I ended up in conversations with his friends. It was a bit weird because I’m sure his friends were wondering why we were even dating. People could see from miles away that we just weren’t a good match.
  7. His friend, on the other hand, was perfect. Seriously, I was so bummed to discover that his friend was my perfect guy. From how he looked to his charm and the interests we had in common, we’d clicked so effortlessly. Damn, why hadn’t we met under different circumstances? Ugh. To put the cherry on the cake, he was single too. Can you believe my luck?
  8. This always happens to me! Rant alert! I’ve had some of the worst luck when dating. Guys I like don’t like me, they’re unavailable to date, or they’re leaving the country in a few days. Meanwhile, the guys I’m not that crazy about are always in my face. What gives? Is life really just that cruel?
  9. I wasn’t going to take a romantic risk. As much as I liked my boyfriend’s best friend and could see that there was major chemistry between us, I just wasn’t going to go there. I couldn’t date him. It would be such a skanky thing to do, and I’d probably lose respect for him if he did that to his best friend, after all. Besides, I really didn’t want to hurt the guy I was dating. Just because I didn’t have feelings for him didn’t mean that I had to be cruel to him.
  10. There was a silver lining to all this. At first, I was just really pissed off that I’d met a great guy and couldn’t date him, but then I realized something huge: I’d met him for an important reason. By entering my life for one evening, he showed me that I hadn’t lost the possibility of finding The One. I hadn’t missed the chance to meet someone who did it for me on all levels, someone I really wanted to date. There were still many romantic opportunities out there for me! This was just the beginning—I just had to ditch the dud.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.