He seemed like a great catch at first. He was spontaneous, fun-loving, and really chilled, but after a few weeks of dating, I realized I was dating a man-child.
He was into fun—too much fun. Yeah, it was cool being around him at first because he was always the life of the party and a charming, fun-loving guy, but that got old really quickly. He was so obsessed with being at every club opening and every party, getting drunk and getting into trouble, that I started to get tired of being his plus-one to these events.
I felt like his babysitter. I had to be sure that he wouldn’t drive while under the influence. I had to make sure that he didn’t get into fights that he’d regret. I had to make sure that I got him home safely. Ugh, it was so annoying. What happened to my good times?
I felt like his mother. I might have felt like his babysitter when we were out in public, but behind closed doors, I often felt like his parent. He never cleaned up after himself. He was so messy and untidy and it was gross. Stepping into his apartment was like stepping into a nasty dorm room. Worse, he was living with roommates who were just as messy as he was.
He played the victim card. He loved to act like the victim. If I was angry about something he’d done, he would act tearful as though I had hurt him. If someone pissed him off, he’d use that as an excuse for why he couldn’t get his act together. Ugh. It made me see him as a bratty kid in a designer suit.
He never took any responsibility. Part of being mature is taking responsibility, and he never took any for his life, just like a child. He always had something or someone else to blame for everything that went wrong in his life. He often used these lame excuses on me to try to guilt me into giving him another chance. After a few chances, I was sick of him. It was so exhausting trying to deal with someone who never saw when they were wrong.
He wanted to be happy all the time. At first I really liked how he always gravitated towards the good life. It was refreshing. It was also nice to see him be so happy. However, after a while, it started to seem a little bit weird. Who can be happy all the time? It was easy for him to achieve that because he was just ignoring all his issues and problems or blaming someone else for them!
He was escaping from reality. I soon realized that by trying to be happy and partying all the time, the guy was trying to avoid reality. That’s a classic man-child move. He wanted to live in a fairytale of sorts, but how the heck can you be in a mature relationship with someone who’s just not mature and not acting like an adult? It’s impossible.
We never had a serious chat. Whenever I wanted to chat to him about something serious, whether it was something I’d seen in the news or something that was on my mind or even a fight I’d had with my bestie, he never managed to get through the conversation without changing the subject or trying to lighten the mood. If I was upset, he’d try to get me to laugh, which didn’t always work. It was actually quite infuriating at times because it felt like he was just writing off my feelings.
He wore a mask. I think he tried to avoid having serious chats because he didn’t want to have a serious relationship. He wanted to keep things light and happy and he didn’t want to have to deal with issues or get real with his partner. He basically wanted me to be a robot who could hand him drinks, laugh with him, and be as immature as he was. He was pretending to want to be chill when really, deep down, I think he just didn’t want to get into a real relationship.