I Dated You Even Though I Knew Our Relationship Had An Expiration Date – Here’s Why

Not all relationships are meant to last forever, but a lot of people get into them hoping they will. When I met you, though, I knew that what we had was a ticking time bomb. Even though I knew from the beginning that you and I weren’t meant to end up together, this is why I chose to fall for you anyway:

  1. I wanted to live in the moment. I’d spent my whole life dating guys who had long-term potential. If they didn’t, I wasn’t interested. But I was sick and tired of doing that. I wanted to stop focusing so much on the future, which wasn’t guaranteed anyway, and spend a bit more time enjoying myself for a change.
  2. You were hot AF. You were so gorgeous, I just wanted to be around you. I knew that your hotness was bound to be a problem sooner or later — there was no way you were going to be an amazing boyfriend if you were that attractive and loved the attention you got for it — but I didn’t want to care. I wanted to enjoy the fact that you were in my life for now, and I’m embarrassed to admit it, but you boosted my self-esteem.
  3. I loved your company. We had loads in common and really got along well. I always came away from our interactions feeling good and in love with life. So I gravitated towards you like a moth to a flame. I wouldn’t get burned by desire because I knew that this was going to be temporary. You were a commitmentphobe, and sooner or later I’d tire of that. But for the time being, I just wanted to enjoy the experience of getting to know you.
  4. I wanted an escape from reality. We hadn’t been on vacation, but it sure felt that way. You were a fling, a great way for me to forget all about the stress of life and reality. When was the last time I’d had such fun without worrying about what would come next? It was fantastic.
  5. It was liberating not to hope for more. Too many of my relationships had held me in emotional chains. Did the guy like me enough to make me his GF? When he did, I moved on to the next worry: was he serious about me? And then the next: would he stick around longer than a few months? Ugh, it was exhausting. For the first time in my life, it was so nice not to bring hope along to all my dates.
  6. Every experience was heightened. There was so much more bliss in everything we did because we knew our relationship had an expiration date. Our kisses were more pleasurable, and our time together wasn’t taken for granted. I wanted to milk every single lovely experience for as much and as long as I could.
  7. I knew I wouldn’t fall in love with you. As great as you were, I knew that I wouldn’t fall in love with you. It just wasn’t going to happen because of your issues and also because I knew that getting too serious about you would just result in pain for me. I didn’t hold any crazy notions that I was going to be the woman you fell head over heels with. Yes, we were exclusive, but we weren’t forever, and knowing this meant I wasn’t going to get my heart broken. This freed me up to enjoy the experience for what it was.
  8. You were my break from finding The One. I was on a mission to find my perfect match. Then I met you, and you intrigued me so much, I decided to put my plans on hold for the time being so I could let my hair down and have a bit of fun. It was just what I needed to gain some perspective on dating and realize that I’d be okay with or without a partner.
  9. You helped me fine-tune what I wanted. Before I met you, I thought I knew what I wanted, but I’d been dating lots of guys who brought drama to my life. Being with you when all expectations and demands were out of the picture enabled me to see what I wanted from a relationship in future. I knew you couldn’t give me what I wanted, but I knew that after you, I’d be able to go out there and find the right guy who would be great as a long-term partner.
  10. You were my “YOLO” guy. Our relationship was all about the honeymoon phase. Friends told me how unrealistic this was, but I wasn’t with you to be practical or logical; I wanted to experience happiness with you regardless of what the outcome turned out to be. I didn’t want any regrets.
  11. It was easy to leave. There was no big, hostile breakup. We reached a point where the romance fizzled and we were both ready to move on. We were able to walk away amicably, with no hard feelings and no baggage. Of course, some might say it was only such an amicable breakup because we hadn’t had a real relationship, but it was the perfect relationship I needed at that time of my life.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.
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