Dating Has Become A Nightmare — We Need To Make It Simple Again

Maybe old-timey movies and music have just glamorized it, but I feel like dating in the past was a lot easier than it is now. Thanks to dating apps and a ridiculously prevalent hookup culture, it’s so hard to find someone who’s actually worth your time these days. Some days I feel like it’s way too much to ask for, but this is why I long for the days when dating was way simpler than it is now:

  1. I want to get back to basics. Girl meets boy. Boy asks girl for phone number. Boy asks girl out. Boy and girl go on date. What ever happened to this story line? Now it’s “Boy and girl both swipe right on each other, one of them messages the other, the other one never responds.” There shouldn’t be so much drama, but it’s inevitable with modern dating culture.
  2. I like things the old-fashioned way. I’m a strong woman, so I’ve tried being the one to make the first move. And yet, it never works. I must be going for the most passive men ever, because I always get stuck having to initiate everything. I’m sick of it. I’m all for equality, but at least for now, I want a man who pursues me in the beginning so I know he’s actually interested.
  3. No one wants to define relationships anymore. Are we “just talking”? Are we exclusive, or seeing other people? Are we boyfriend-girlfriend? I want to know, and I won’t apologize for that. I have a right to know where I stand with the person I’m giving my time and energy to. Whether a guy wants to keep things casual or get serious, I deserve to know where I fit in the equation.
  4. So many guys refuse to commit. I’ve dated way too many men who seemed to feel like committing to a real relationship was just too much work. They preferred to go sleep with another girl with no warning, then argue that it was fine because we weren’t “official”. Well, no, you jerk, because you’re the one who refused to make it official. I won’t go there. If you don’t want to be with me, you don’t get to be inside me. You are either with me or way the hell away from me.
  5. Online dating has made everything more confusing. I think online dating is ruining modern dating as we know it. The lines are so blurred now that honest people are just drifting around in a sea of confusion, constantly tugged this way and that way by jerks. I don’t want to spend my time messaging some guy online for two weeks who is never going to ask me out. There’s no point to it.
  6. Chemistry is hard to come by. Whether you meet someone online or in person, all the stuff you have in common might mean nothing if there’s no spark. True romantic chemistry is so rare, and unlike political opinions or movie preferences, it’s ridiculously hard to define. Add in the popularity and distant nature of online dating, and it’s no wonder so many failed couples don’t realize they don’t have chemistry together until they’ve already wasted a ton of time.
  7. Even if there’s a spark, a lot of guys don’t act on it. I’ve had more than one situation where the two of us both knew we liked each other and were attracted to each other, but for whatever, reason the guy did nothing. Maybe he liked the idea of me, but not the reality of dating someone. Maybe he was scared. Maybe he thought I’d reject him. Maybe he was lazy. It doesn’t matter, because the bottom line is nothing happened.
  8. I don’t want to “hang out.” Either ask me on a legitimate date or stop breathing my air. I want nothing to do with a dude’s “Netflix and chill” plan to get me to sleep with him. Look, I consider many things to be a date: ice cream, coffee, even visits to the park, for crying out loud. I’m not asking for a guy to spend a bunch of money on me. I do require him to put some thought into asking me to hang out without the expectation of sex.
  9. I don’t have time or energy for gray areas.   You either like me and want to get to know me better and continue on, or you want to cut ties. There’s no in-between in my world. I’m not messing around with a guy for a few months, hanging out once in a while, and sleeping with him. That’s cool if that’s what he wants, but he’d better be sure to tell me immediately so I can go on my merry way.
  10. Honesty is hard to come by. The worst thing about asking a guy out? Most of the time, I seem to end up pushing something he isn’t really feeling. Nothing feels crappier than trying to date a guy who seems to just be going along with it because he’s bored. I don’t want to be someone’s “okay I guess”— I want to be his “hell yes”.
  11. I’m too old for games. Maybe a little drama was fun when I was in my teens and twenties, but now I want to be done with it. Life is too short to waste on a bunch of silly crap like that. I’m ready to be in a real relationship, but way too many guys out there are still just messing around and making things more complicated than they have to be.
  12. I want dating to be the simplest part of my life. If it’s a struggle right from the start, that’s a problem. I want something that progresses naturally and doesn’t cause me a bunch of stress. Dating is supposed to be fun, but these days, there are so many issues that cause it to be such a headache. I have enough going on in my life; I want dating to be something positive, not something I dread.


A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at