Dating Can Be Brutal & Demoralizing — And These 10 Behaviors Are To Blame

All is fair in love and war, right? At least, that seems to be the rule I have to accept. Modern dating certainly doesn’t FEEL fair, that’s for sure — but what I want to know is why it has to be so cruel. I don’t think wanting or even expecting basic respect and courtesy from the guys I’m dating is asking too much, but my experience has proven otherwise. What’s going on here? These 10 guy behaviors need to go ASAP:

Not being upfront about their intentions 

I can handle the truth, so if you just want sex, at least be upfront with me about that. Have the balls to say what you actually want. Honestly, what’s the worst that could happen if you’re honest? If I’m not interested in just sex — and frankly, I’m kinda not at this point in my life — I’m sure that with the prevalence of hookup culture, you can find a woman who will be.

Leading me on when they’re not really interested

 Don’t lead me on — if you’re not feeling it, be straight about it. Don’t have me vying for your attention when you couldn’t care less or have no intention of taking things further with me. I don’t want to keep lusting after you when I have absolutely no chance. If you’re not interested, then let me know so I can move the hell on.

Sleeping with my friends after we break up 

If we had a relationship, then it meant something to me. You might be my ex now, but at one point we cared about each other, so out of respect for me, don’t sleep with or try to date my friends. I’m off-limits and so are they. It’s better for both of us if from now on if we stay out of each other’s lives.

Making me their backup plan 

I don’t deserve that and neither does any other woman. I deserve to be a guy’s first and only choice. I don’t want you to settle for me just so you don’t have to be alone. If you don’t want me and only me no matter what, then don’t put me on a list. I’m worth more than second-best, and I won’t settle for less.

Nailing and bailing 

Hit it and quit it, screw me and duck me — I don’t care what you want to call it, just don’t do it. I’m not interested in being another notch in your belt. Don’t trick me into thinking that you want a relationship when really the only thing you want is to get in my bed. You might want sex, but you shouldn’t have to trick or use a woman to get it.

Sharing intimate details of our sex life with other people 

What happens in our bedroom stays in our bedroom. Our sex life is between you and me and nobody else. It’s not something to brag about on social media or even discuss with your friends. If you can’t handle that common decency, then you’re not mature enough for modern dating.

Not letting me go even though they don’t love me anymore 

That would be the kind thing to do — at least that’s what I think. It might feel cruel to break my heart, but it’s even crueler to keep leading me on. I don’t want to lie. I don’t want to keep loving a man who doesn’t love me back. If you don’t want to be with me, let me go so I can have the chance to find a man who will love me like I deserve.

Not staying faithful 

If you’re dating me, then you shouldn’t be seeing anyone else. For God’s sake, just sleep with one girl at a time. I know some men think it’s in their “nature” to “spread their seed,” but I think by now you could have evolved past the behavior of cavemen. At the very least, if you want to be with someone else, have the decency to break things off with me first.

Moving on while we’re still together

 If there’s a problem, if you’re falling out of love with me, then I deserve to know. I don’t want our breakup to come out of left field. If I don’t know there’s an issue then we can’t fix the problem. If there’s no solution, I deserve to know as soon as possible. I don’t deserve to be broken-hearted and find out a week later that you’ve already moved on to someone else.

Not treating us the way they want to be treated

 It’s honestly that simple. If you wouldn’t like me to do it to you, then don’t do it to me. Why can’t we just be kind to one another in the dating game? Why do we all have to be working against each other? If you’re dating me, then I expect you to treat me right. Just love me the way that you want me to love you, because if you’re not doing that, then you’re just plain cruel.

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