Dating Can Be So Much Worse Than Being Alone

When you’re feeling envious of how in love your bestie is or you wish you could meet a great guy, bear in mind that finding the right person can be a really difficult and stressful process. In fact, it might even make you feel more alone than you do as a single woman—here’s why:

  1. Dating doesn’t mean you won’t be lonely. All single women get lonely and it’s okay. At least you know it’s your feeling and you can do something about it. Still, imagine being lonely with someone in a relationship—that’s so much worse. You hoped a relationship would make you feel fantastic but it actually brought you down. You might as well have stayed single then.
  2. There are too many bad dates out there. Have you really taken a close look at all the guys that are out there? There are so many toxic, selfish, cheating dudes who hide all their issues when you first meet them but then unleash them like paranormal activity in a horror movie. These have become the norm on the dating scene.
  3. How much are you willing to sacrifice for company? Why is being alone seen as such a bad thing? It can actually give you freedom. Sure, dating a guy or becoming his GF means you’ll get someone to spend those long nights with, but this sort of longing for the perfect partner can actually cause you to compromise too much for having someone, like the freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want. It’s not worth it.
  4. Dating’s not a dream. You might think that you can treat dating like your other goals and dreams, but let’s be honest—it’s really not that like that. Do your life goals and dreams give you mixed messages? Do they just want to hook up and then toss you aside? No. At least when you’re not dealing with the volatile dating scene, you can concentrate on what really matters to you. You alone can make it happen. You don’t need anyone to meet you halfway for your personal goals—it’s so empowering!
  5. Relationships can be bad for your health. Sure, there are great things about healthy relationships, but some can really be bad for you. Research has found that women who remain single have better health than married women, along with fewer doctors’ visits. One of the reasons is probably because you don’t experience the stress of dealing with another person and all their issues.
  6. Your other relationships hit the fritz. Research has found that when you get into a relationship, you’re likely to lose two close friends. At least when you’re alone, you’re motivated to reach out and connect with people in your life, like your loved ones and best friends, without any relationship distractions.
  7. The search for the one can mess you up. When you go on lots of dates, most end up being one-hit wonders or really bad dates that put you off dating for a while. These experiences show you just how hard it is to find a decent guy, so why obsess about it? It will be better for you to put the energy that would go into finding The One into something more productive.
  8. You put in effort but guys are lazy af. You try to make a great first impression when you meet a blind date, but he rocks up looking like he just rolled out of a reality survival show and doesn’t feel do much to keep you interested. Great. So you did your makeup and tried to feel positive for this loser? Ugh, you should’ve just stayed home with your cats.
  9. The rules suck. Even if you decide not to follow the ridiculous dating advice that’s out there, you can’t escape the fear that everyone else is following them and judging you for not doing the same. For instance, if you had a fantastic time with a guy and really just enjoy chatting to him, you might decide to call him up one day. No biggie. But then you’ll worry that he’s seeing you as desperate or like you’re chasing him. Ugh. Can’t we just chill out?
  10. Dating is shallow afSpend enough time on a dating app and you’re likely to start getting complexes about things that you didn’t even think about before. This is often thanks to how shallow people are, like asking for your bra size or full-length photos after five minutes of chatting, as well as how many dating apps are mainly about rating people based on their pictures. It’s such BS. Where’s the depth?
  11. Forget about chivalry. I won’t say chivalry is dead because there are still chivalrous men out there, but a lot of guys just want to treat women like they’re options and objects. If you’re searching for the Big Love, it’s not easy and makes you feel depressed. But come on—feeling sad about not finding a guy is a total waste of time! Relish in being alone rather than worrying so much about guys.
  12. Dating burnout is a thing. A study for found that 54 percent of women are exhausted by modern dating. It’s so easy to want to give it all a break, and maybe that’s the best thing when you’re surrounded by men who just want hookups or make you think they’re so nice when they’re just douchebags. I guarantee you’ll be so much happier.
  13. It’s like hitting your head against a brick wall. That’s exactly what dating can feel like. You get excited about a cool guy you met and then discover he’s really creepy or still in love with his ex. You chat to a guy you “met” online for weeks, but then he never actually asks you out. You fall in love with a guy who then throws the “I’m afraid of commitment” card. It’s so frustrating! You start to wonder if you’ll ever have a really amazing date again or if love is dead. Then you realize that staying single will cut out all this emotional BS so you don’t risk having a stroke before you’re 30. Yup, being alone is looking pretty damn cool right now, huh?
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.