You want to find love but the act of doing so totally freaks you out. If the thought of dating makes you feel like you need to run for the nearest exit, maybe you have dating claustrophobia. It might sound silly but it’s a real condition. Here’s how you know if you have it.
- You can’t see them every day. You just saw the new person you’re dating last night and now they want to see you again for dinner tonight. Um, no. That feels like way too much, even if you’ve already been dating them for a while and really like them.
- You feel anxious when they text you too much. You dread seeing their name on your phone for the third time in a few hours, especially if you haven’t had a chance to reply because you’re having a hectic day. As much as you like to text the person you’re dating, you don’t want anything OTT.
- You don’t like feeling obliged. You hate the idea that you have to do certain things or follow specific dating rules in order to be with someone. That stuff is tiring and makes you feel stressed out. You’d prefer to live by your own rules and not have to care what the other person will think.
- You refuse to be scheduled in. Along with hating those dating rules, you don’t like to feel scheduled into dates with someone. You don’t want to feel closed into your relationship. What if some other opportunity arises during the week on the day you’re supposed to meet up for drinks? What if you change your mind about going out and want to stay indoors instead? You want to be flexible.
- You don’t want to plan dates weeks ahead of time. While that might make you seem like a total commitment-phobe, you don’t care. You want to live in a spontaneous way without blocking off your future to something or someone. Is that such a bad thing, especially when you hardly even know the person? Hell no.
- You need your alone time. Just because you’re dating someone and things are becoming serious, it doesn’t mean that you’re giving up your alone time. You need time to yourself in which to think, process your feelings, or just lie around and watch Netflix in your Snoopy pajamas. Doesn’t everyone?
- You won’t define the relationship until things are pretty serious. You’ve heard the rule that you have to DTR within a few weeks of dating, but you roll your eyes at that. Honestly, the thought of DTR’ing freaks you out a bit. You only want to do it when things are serious, otherwise, it can induce a panic attack.
- You’re repelled by the first whiff of a clingy person. One of the worst things you’d ever have to deal with as a person who’s a dating claustrophobe is someone clingy. If you catch the first red flags of a clingy person, like that they become antsy when you don’t reply to them ASAP, you’re immediately put off. You’ve been known to cancel dates because the person was coming across as too needy.
- First dates creep you out. While other people get those dreaded first-date nerves, yours are on another level. You feel anxious and stressed days before the date and often get the urge to run away, delete the person’s number, and never contact them again. It’s not that you’re afraid of what the person will be like or if they’ll disappoint you, it’s that you’re afraid to start something that will take over your life.
- You’re not scared of getting heartbroken. Well, maybe you are, but much bigger than that is your fear of a new relationship messing with your life and trying to take you away from what’s important to you. You really don’t want that. That right there is worth freaking out about.
- You’re a happy single. The thing is, you’re not bitter or jaded about love. You’re not dating the wrong men who make you feel like you’re settling. You’re a kickass single who loves her life. Finding someone to date is not an easy task, and honestly? You often wonder if you even need love in your life. You’re busy doing you and having a blast, and that’s awesome. Keep on doing what you’re doing.
